[MR] newbie

[Terelyn Marks]

Wow, sorry to hear that you had a bad first experience.  I'm also new -- at 
least 'officially' -- and most of the people I've met have been very 
friendly and willing to talk about anything.  I'm in the Barony of Ponte 
Alto and thoroughly enjoy it.  I was just at an event this past weekend and 
by chance had some other newbies at the same table at the feast and we had a 
wonderful time.

<G> The only person I'm actually had be actively unfriendly is someone I 
know outside the SCA as well and I have no idea what her problem is!  It had 
been months since we'd seen each other and apparently in that time I 
contracted plague!

I hope that you do give it another chance and maybe we'll run into each 
other at some event.

Mairsali Johnston
of Lochwood Moss



>From: Eventblues at aol.com
>To: atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
>Subject: [MR] newbie
>Date: Tue, 3 Sep 2002 11:55:23 EDT
>
>I attended my first event in Atlantia not very long ago.  I won't say where
>or when.  I would like to describe my experience and see if you can come to
>some consensus for an answer.
>Saturday, during the event, I could get almost noone to talk to me.
>I was dressed appropriately in period garb -- nothing ostentatious but not
>cheap or gawdy looking, -- period cut and fabric (linen and wool 
>cotehardie)
>-- quality sewing skills and am not new to costuming.  I am a reasonably
>attractive female (many people say I am pretty), and in middle age, not 
>over
>or underweight.  No hairlips or missing body parts. I am not in any way
>physically repulsive.  I bathed and wore deodorant, changed my underwear,
>brushed my teeth and wore no perfume.  I was not trying to pick up men (I 
>am
>married), but trying to make friends primarily with other women.
>However, no matter how many people I tried to make friends with -- people
>just generally ignored me.  I tried to strike up conversations with 
>different
>folks who were not otherwise engaged in an activity.  They would make 
>polite
>conversation for about 1 minute, then leave.  Later, they would look at me 
>as
>if I did not exist.
>I have good social skills, have a college degree that is not in some aspect
>of medieval life -- so I could have things to talk about.  But, no one 
>would
>give me the chance.
>No one ever invited me to sit with their group of friends for a minute.  No
>one ever approached me unless I approached them.  I even offered to help
>people out with some of the work.
>Many people would not even make eye contact with me during the day.
>And, I noticed that I was not the only one at the event in that "no man's
>land".  Many other people were likewise ostracized.  By about 3:00, I just
>gave up and sat in a corner and watched what was going on.
>The people at my feast table were nice (they were newbies, too).
>But when the feast was over, the cliques of folks started again.  I looked
>around for some of the other folks who had been "left out", but they all 
>left
>either before, or as soon as the feast was over.
>Now I realize that folks like to visit with their friends, but does mean
>excluding people  who could add to your list of friends?  Does no one have 
>a
>heart when someone is obviously new or in unfamiliar surroundings?  I admit
>that I am a little shy, but I have a good sense of humor and have a lot to
>contribute.  But noone bothered to find out.
>Not sure I will ever go to another event.
>Any suggestions?
>========================================================================
>                    The Merry Rose Tavern at Cheapside
>     List Info: http://merryrose.atlantia.sca.org/
>   Submissions: Atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
>Subscriptions: http://seahorse.atlantia.sca.org/mailman/listinfo/atlantia




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