[MR] newbie

[Arthur Donadio]

My Lady:
Her Highness has already responded to your post so I will only add that I 
too am sorry that your experience at an Atlantian event was such that you 
are considering not returning.  And I want to thank you for drawing our 
attention to this matter.  I hope you will give us a second chance and 
perhaps attend Coronation this weekend.  If you do, I will leave 
instructions with the troll that you are to be a guest of the Crown and I 
will pay your fee.  Just identify yourself when you arrive.  And if you do 
come, please take the time to introduce yourself to me.  I will be occupied 
with a number of duties, but I would very much like to speak with you.

Sincerely,

Cuan, Prince of the Atlantians


>From: Eventblues at aol.com
>To: atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
>Subject: [MR] newbie
>Date: Tue, 3 Sep 2002 11:55:23 EDT
>
>I attended my first event in Atlantia not very long ago.  I won't say where
>or when.  I would like to describe my experience and see if you can come to
>some consensus for an answer.
>Saturday, during the event, I could get almost noone to talk to me.
>I was dressed appropriately in period garb -- nothing ostentatious but not
>cheap or gawdy looking, -- period cut and fabric (linen and wool 
>cotehardie)
>-- quality sewing skills and am not new to costuming.  I am a reasonably
>attractive female (many people say I am pretty), and in middle age, not 
>over
>or underweight.  No hairlips or missing body parts. I am not in any way
>physically repulsive.  I bathed and wore deodorant, changed my underwear,
>brushed my teeth and wore no perfume.  I was not trying to pick up men (I 
>am
>married), but trying to make friends primarily with other women.
>However, no matter how many people I tried to make friends with -- people
>just generally ignored me.  I tried to strike up conversations with 
>different
>folks who were not otherwise engaged in an activity.  They would make 
>polite
>conversation for about 1 minute, then leave.  Later, they would look at me 
>as
>if I did not exist.
>I have good social skills, have a college degree that is not in some aspect
>of medieval life -- so I could have things to talk about.  But, no one 
>would
>give me the chance.
>No one ever invited me to sit with their group of friends for a minute.  No
>one ever approached me unless I approached them.  I even offered to help
>people out with some of the work.
>Many people would not even make eye contact with me during the day.
>And, I noticed that I was not the only one at the event in that "no man's
>land".  Many other people were likewise ostracized.  By about 3:00, I just
>gave up and sat in a corner and watched what was going on.
>The people at my feast table were nice (they were newbies, too).
>But when the feast was over, the cliques of folks started again.  I looked
>around for some of the other folks who had been "left out", but they all 
>left
>either before, or as soon as the feast was over.
>Now I realize that folks like to visit with their friends, but does mean
>excluding people  who could add to your list of friends?  Does no one have 
>a
>heart when someone is obviously new or in unfamiliar surroundings?  I admit
>that I am a little shy, but I have a good sense of humor and have a lot to
>contribute.  But noone bothered to find out.
>Not sure I will ever go to another event.
>Any suggestions?
>========================================================================
>                    The Merry Rose Tavern at Cheapside
>     List Info: http://merryrose.atlantia.sca.org/
>   Submissions: Atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
>Subscriptions: http://seahorse.atlantia.sca.org/mailman/listinfo/atlantia




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