[MR] newbie

[Cobb, Toby]

Good Afternoon, M'lady

I am truly sorry that we as a community made such a poor showing on your first
outing. I do hope that you will try it again. Had you sought out the guidance of
your local groups' newcomer resource? (Chatelaine, Hospitaller, Castellan, etc)
These people are charged with helping you learn about what we do, and to help
you begin networking with people of similar interests within the society. If you
haven't introduced yourself to the person in your area tasked with this
responsibility, please do! If this person is not available, ask for the
Seneshal, they're the Chapter president, and will be happy to help you get
started participating in the fun.

I am uncertain as to where you are in the Kingdom since you have chosen to post
this anonymously (a wise choice IMO, to save embarrassment to those attending
the event in question) but if you happen to be in or near Isenfir
(Charlottesville, VA), please feel free to contact me directly at
castellan at isenfir.org

In the meantime, would you like to tell me what attracted you to us?  What 21st
century hobbies you have?  A large number of modern activities have their roots
in the period arts and sciences. I'll be happy to point you to people and
resources to help you begin your journey. Again, please use
Castellan at isenfir.org to conserve bandwidth.

Thanks for giving us a try. Please give us the chance to make amends, we're
worth the effort. Of course my opinion on our worth may be biased...  ;-)


Yours in Service,

Toby of Isenfir
Shire Castellan



	
> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Eventblues at aol.com [SMTP:Eventblues at aol.com]
> Sent:	Tuesday, September 03, 2002 11:55 AM
> To:	atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
> Subject:	[MR] newbie
> 
> I attended my first event in Atlantia not very long ago.  I won't say where 
> or when.  I would like to describe my experience and see if you can come to 
> some consensus for an answer.
> Saturday, during the event, I could get almost noone to talk to me.  
> I was dressed appropriately in period garb -- nothing ostentatious but not 
> cheap or gawdy looking, -- period cut and fabric (linen and wool cotehardie) 
> -- quality sewing skills and am not new to costuming.  I am a reasonably 
> attractive female (many people say I am pretty), and in middle age, not over 
> or underweight.  No hairlips or missing body parts. I am not in any way 
> physically repulsive.  I bathed and wore deodorant, changed my underwear, 
> brushed my teeth and wore no perfume.  I was not trying to pick up men (I am 
> married), but trying to make friends primarily with other women.
> However, no matter how many people I tried to make friends with -- people 
> just generally ignored me.  I tried to strike up conversations with different 
> folks who were not otherwise engaged in an activity.  They would make polite 
> conversation for about 1 minute, then leave.  Later, they would look at me as 
> if I did not exist.
> I have good social skills, have a college degree that is not in some aspect 
> of medieval life -- so I could have things to talk about.  But, no one would 
> give me the chance.
> No one ever invited me to sit with their group of friends for a minute.  No 
> one ever approached me unless I approached them.  I even offered to help 
> people out with some of the work.
> Many people would not even make eye contact with me during the day.
> And, I noticed that I was not the only one at the event in that "no man's 
> land".  Many other people were likewise ostracized.  By about 3:00, I just 
> gave up and sat in a corner and watched what was going on.
> The people at my feast table were nice (they were newbies, too).
> But when the feast was over, the cliques of folks started again.  I looked 
> around for some of the other folks who had been "left out", but they all left 
> either before, or as soon as the feast was over.
> Now I realize that folks like to visit with their friends, but does mean 
> excluding people  who could add to your list of friends?  Does no one have a 
> heart when someone is obviously new or in unfamiliar surroundings?  I admit 
> that I am a little shy, but I have a good sense of humor and have a lot to 
> contribute.  But noone bothered to find out.
> Not sure I will ever go to another event.
> Any suggestions?
> ========================================================================
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