[MR] Personal Responsibility & Sexual Harrassment (Re: Society Notice)

[Scribe0002 at aol.com]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Lord Brian. 
 
I first want to say that though this may seem a personal conversation or an  
off topic one, I believe it is important and applies to the SCA. As an 
autocrat  I've been involved in complaints, real and unfounded, of sexual harassment 
and  sexual assault. As the Event Steward, it is my duty to protect my  
attendees and this Society.
 
In your reply to me you made the following statement: "I can assure you  that 
every person who
states that the ~majority~ of people are abusing  harassment claims are doing 
more damage than they might think." (emphasis  mine)

I want to clarify that I did not say nor did I mean that the  majority of 
such claims are false. What I said was that I've seen these claims  made wrongly 
and maliciously ~too many~ times. There's a significant difference  between 
those two statements, m'lord. I was a reporter in York, PA for a decade.  I've 
done the research and reported on such things. I know these issues exist  and 
I've seen the consequences to the ultimate of loss of life.
 
But what I'm specifically discussing here is understanding that initial  step 
and knowing whether it is reportable or not . . .whether it is something to  
worry about or not. Harassment is not to be taken lightly, but we need to be  
able to recognize it and distinguish it from other, perhaps offensive but not  
threatening or criminal, behavior.

 

You quoted me, thus: "You don't accuse someone of harassment for  telling 
offensive jokes if you were sitting listening to them without  speaking your 
mind. You, as the offended party, need to make that clear at  that time. That's an 
important element in social interaction."

And stated  in response partially: "This statement is not completely accurate 
for several  reasons. First and foremost, sexual predators (whether it be 
harassment or  assault) are manipulating situations for the sake of power."
 
I agree that predators do just as you say. Not always predators but simple  
jack4$$es do as well. 
 
The point I feel is very important to make and understand in this  
conversation is that not all people who talk sexually explicitly are predators  and not 
all situations involving such conversation constitute harassment.
 
I'm not talking about a woman who is accosted and propositioned in  
inappropriate ways. Followed around an event or from event to event by someone.  The 
original statement stated that any conversation that makes you uncomfortable  is 
sexual harassment and that is simply not so.
 
And making claims of harassment (which I have dealt with at events as Event  
Steward) based on such situations is dangerous in its own way. As event 
steward  I'm there to protect those who are abused physically or verbally . . . and 
a  person against whom such a charge is made falsely or under a wrong 
understanding  of what is socially acceptable or what constitutes harassment is just 
as in need  of protection as the person who is offended by bawdy behavior.
 
Assault is a very different creature. Repeated or threatening harassment or  
sexual advances are different.
 
If someone comes to me and make a claim of harassment or abuse, I take it  
very seriously. However, now, in the cool light of our mundane worlds, it is  
important to understand the distinction between someone being vulgar or too  
bawdy and someone being out of line and doing something reportable or  
threatening. That was what I said in my original post of the subject.
 
Yes there are those who are too weak and perhaps we as a Society need to be  
watchful for someone not strong enough to speak up in group situations.
 
Event Stewards will likely have to deal with such issues eventually if they  
head up enough events or a large enough event. Honestly, such reports are rare 
 and yes, I know that some of that is because the offended parties are 
reluctant  for a variety of reasons to come forward. I don't believe that open and 
frank  discussion can harm those people, only give them the knowledge and 
understandign  they need and that we others need to deal with situations that arise 
fairly and  well.
 
Those of us outside the situations must be open and supportive and  
protective. But also knowledgeable, fair and prepared.
 
~gise
 
 
 


 



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