[MR] Personal Responsibility & Sexual Harrassment (Re: Society Notice)

[Brian McDaniel]

First, thank for your response. The problem lies in the fact that
technically the federal definition means squat. If a crime occurs at an
event of this nature, it will be handled on a local level in the county/city
in which the crime was committed. 
 
Second, you are correct when you say that abuse of harassment/assault claims
does damage the validity of true claims. However, since the vast majority of
interpersonal violence in any form goes unreported, what you are talking
about is a very small group. The majority of those who come forward to
report harassment or abuse do so at the risk of their own reputations. It is
a very difficult decision and only a very small number are not telling the
truth. Having been around those who assist survivors of interpersonal
violence for several years now, I can assure you that every person who
states that the majority of people are abusing harassment claims are doing
more damage than they might think. 

"You don't accuse someone of harassment for telling offensive jokes if you  
were sitting listening to them without speaking your mind. You, as the
offended  
party, need to make that clear at that time. That's an important element in

social interaction."
 
This statement is not completely accurate for several reasons. First and
foremost, sexual predators (whether it be harassment or assault) are
manipulating situations for the sake of power. Often, those that they prey
upon are unable to remove themselves from the situation or to voice their
opinion in a social setting. Often these episodes occur in public and only
the victim and the perpetrator are fully aware of the situation. This way,
if a victim speaks out, it becomes a matter of who is everyone going to
believe.
 
Obviously, you are a strong enough person to speak your mind and set
personal boundaries. Unfortunately, the average victim does not have this
ability, which is what makes them susceptible to being victimized. Thus why
it is so important to avoid blanket statements such as the one you made
earlier. These victims require an open and supportive environment in which
they can communicate their situations to others. And statutes of limitations
vary depending on the offense. Time isn't always a factor, nor should it be
in many cases. 
 
On the subject of background checks, I personally would be willing to pay a
small extra amount to have one run on myself every time I renewed my annual
membership. I feel that in today's society, with crime the way it is, it's a
small price to pay to protect friends, family, and everyone else living the
dream. 
 
Brian
 
 
Quote:
Good Lord Brian, first, that definition is not PA's definition, it is the  
federal definition. Yes, states have other clarifications and caveats, but
we're 
talking about a cross-state border organization and the federal definition 
is  the only one that applies across the board.

Second and more importantly, please understand that I am not discounting in

any way real abuse or harassment. However, it is not statements such as mine

that cause those who come forward to be doubted but the fact that there is  
abuse of the accusation. Something that makes you uncomfortable is not  
harassment. Something that continues after that discomfort is made evident
is.

My point is that you need to know what the legal offense is and to take  
personal responsibility in that situation where they can. I may be
embarrassed or 
ashamed, though in a verbal exchange I don't see what there is to  be 
embarrassed about or ashamed of if I were the listener and not a
participant.

You don't accuse someone of harassment for telling offensive jokes if you  
were sitting listening to them without speaking your mind. You, as the
offended  
party, need to make that clear at that time. That's an important element in

social interaction.

If someone persists at that time or continues such offensive talk at a
later 
date, ~that~ is harassment and should be dealt with as such. But giving  
carte blanche to anyone who hears offensive talk to lodge a complaint a week

after the fact when they said nothing at the time is a form of harassment in

itself, m'lord.

~g