[MR] Re: Secrecy and awards

[Orlaith of Storvik]

This is a subject I've thought a lot about.  I look at it from both
sides.  I remember getting my awards and how wonderful it felt to be
surprised.  I also remember how unhappy my mundane boyfriend was when I got
home and he found out he missed it.  He went to enough events that if he
had heard that I was getting an award he would have gone, and is a good
enough actor that I wouldn't have thought anything of him saying "I think
I'd like to go to that event" especially when I asked him to go to the
event I got my AOA at.  And yes I did assure him that the reason he didn't
know is because the people who knew didn't know him or how to get hold of him.

I've seen friends get awards and their loved ones miss it and the pain it
causes.  One couple I know seems to be continually cursed as the wife has
never seen her husband get an award, although he has rightfully earned many
of them.  I've been at events where I turned offer my congrats to one
friend only to miss another while I was doing so.  These things could have
been prevented.

It's one thing for an AOA or such award, another thing for a Peerage
however.  One of my best friends will eventually earn her Peerage.  It's
something I know in my heart as well as I am certain she deserves it now
and will even more so when the day finally happens.  I live in fear though
that one of the few things she's ever asked me will be denied her because
of the desire for secrecy.

As some of you may know, Lady Tirzah and I make subtlety cakes.  When we
made our first one for Pennsic this year my friend said in a wistful tone,
"If I am ever put on vigil will you make me a cake?"  I know this is
important to her because she's mentioned it every time I talk about making
another cake.  I've got the cake in my head, recipe, design and
all.  Unfortunately without some notice it will never happen.  I can see
this happening for many people.  One small thing that will make the day all
the more special doesn't happen because the people who know about it aren't
told in advance.

In my case I have warned this friend that she needs to spread the word to
her Peer if she truly wants it to happen.  I urge everyone else to do the
same.  Peerages rarely come without years of effort and dreams.  It's easy
enough to say to your friends "if I ever achieve recognition I would like
it to be a surprise or not," or "I would like these people to be there," or
even "I dream it will happen this way."  Will that information come too
late?  Who knows...who knows when anyone will be considered worthy?  By the
time someone has earned such a distinction his or her friends are generally
well known by others in their life.  It is easy enough for the word to
spread, but only if someone is told in advance.

I love the trend that recent Royals have been doing of putting people on
vigil at one event and giving them the award at the next.  I wish it could
happen all the time.  I realize it doesn't always work with plans but I
wish it was always considered when planning to give such an important award.

Lady Orlaith of Storvik


logan <mailto:dukelogan%40bellsouth.net>dukelogan at bellsouth.net  wrote:

thank you for your concerns over this hrothny.  i would like to add that it=
  is our desire to have most all of our court business prepared before arriv=
ing at an event.  we endeavor to have the scrolls prepared and signed and r=
eady to go before we arrive as well.  that allows us to plan our court with=
  the head cook (the person who we believe is truly in charge of what time w=
e hold, and finish, our court), the local baronage (hows that herveus ;^)  =
  ),  and our retinue.  we do try to let as many people involved know what o=
ur intentions are.  additionally, we do not believe in the whole surprise t=
hing as being a necessity.  i, for one, was informed of my impending knight=
ing some months in advance.  it provided me with a double surprise.  first =
was the realization that the members of the order believed that i should be=
  amongst them, then the anticipation of the day.  when that day came it was=
  a magical moment for me and one that i remember well.  surprises are fun a=
s well and i think that we have a good mix of the two.  isabel and i like t=
he idea of alerting a peerage candidate of our intentions thus giving them =
time to prepare and invite friends and family to their induction.

a