[MR] There's a new kid in town

[Lisa and Ken Theriot]

I've been reading this thread with interest, and would offer a slightly
different perspective.

I think "Newbie"'s problem was twofold; she looked put-together enough
that she didn't appear in need of guidance or explanation (check how
many people will descend on the mundanely-dressed individual who turns
up eric-side and says, "Hi!  What are you doing?") but was not known to
anyone such that they'd have a footing for interaction.

My husband is in the military, and as such, we move a great deal
(Atlantia is my 6th kingdom!).  Our reception has run the gamut; in
Drachenwald, (before kingdom status) where they were in desperate need
of experienced people, we had been in country less than two days when I
received the following phone call:

D> "Hi!  Mistress Adelaide?  We were told you were coming.  There's a
Shire meeting on Friday night.  We'll pick you up at 6:00, and we'll
have sandwiches in the car."

Me>  "Mrphl.  Who are you?  What time is it?  What DAY is it?"

When we moved to Atenveldt, we attended a local meeting/fighter practice
and they reacted roughly, "Oh.  Two more peers <yawn>."  The only time
we were approached spontaneously was when my husband pulled out his
guitar and attracted the attention of another musician.

Somewhere between these two, there's got to be a happy medium.
Established folks should remember that even a peer who is new to the
kingdom might need an opening (personally, shy as I'm NOT, I still hate
to swoop in to a new place as though I'm here to shake up the joint--
that comes later :)).  I believe most SCA folk are good-hearted.  As we
were leaving Pennsic, we pulled over on the grass on the way out
(because I wanted to look at the really big groundhog); a truck with a
mundane driver immediately pulled off and called to me, "Hi!  Can I ask
what you folks are doing in there...?"  By the time I had finished the
"We are the SCA" spiel, my husband had fielded three different (SCA)
people leaving the site who stopped (noting two vehicles pulled over) to
see if we needed assistance.  There's never a shortage of SCA folk ready
to help out someone in distress; the problem is that the distress isn't
always visible.

A new person will have (as witnessed by the responses to the original
post) more "help" than they can handle as soon as they identify
themselves.  ("Newbie" said she "tried to make friends" but did not
mention whether the words "This is my first event" ever escaped her
lips.)  At the local baronial encampment at last year's Pennsic, there
was a gentleman for whom it was his first event, and after we all got
over the "You went to PENNSIC for your FIRST EVENT?  Are you NUTS?", he
had all the company he could want.  (Turned out to be not as crazy as it
seemed, since he was able to purchase garb and gear and outfit himself
pretty well.)  Since it may not occur to a new person to say to the
harried troll worker, "This is my first event; is there someone I should
speak to?", perhaps it might be enough to have a sign at troll that
says, "Please tell us if you are new to the SCA or our kingdom" (and of
course be sure that troll has been instructed to whom they are to send
the new people).

Sadly, the modern world has taught us to view people who make friendly
overtures as potential stalkers.  Many people don't know their
neighbors.  It's not surprising that someone might not receive a warm
reception to conversational gambits.  If we find a way to arm new people
with the magic words "This is my first event", the problem should take
care of itself.


Adelaide