[MR] newbie

[Jeanne]

I am sooo terribly sorry.  I have not attended an event since the Baronial
Birthday in July this year.  Did you tell the Troll you were new?  How did
you find the event?

It is like this in many kingdoms unfortunately.  I am chatelaine of Sudentur
(Fredericksburg area) and we would welcome anyone.  My husband dislikes
taking me out in public as I can (and usually do) start a conversation with
ANYONE, even in line when we make groceries!

Please stop by our booth at the Holiday Faire.  We will be selling Beignets
& Coffee, as usual.  Plus I'll have a merchants booth.

Don't be afraid to start up a conversation.  Tell them you're new.  If they
walk off, I would follow them and ask them what is wrong.  Most everyone
I've met in the 2 years since I moved from Axemoor (New Orleans area) has
been quite nice, but YOU have to initiate contact.

Please don't let this put you off.

Soffya Tudja
Magyar  Ajándékok
http://www.aeonline.biz/Magyar.htm
Order of St. Roche
Incipient Canton of Sudentur
Barony of Stierbach
Kingdom of Atlantia


-----Original Message-----
From: atlantia-admin at atlantia.sca.org
[mailto:atlantia-admin at atlantia.sca.org]On Behalf Of Eventblues at aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, September 03, 2002 11:55 AM
To: atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
Subject: [MR] newbie


I attended my first event in Atlantia not very long ago.  I won't say where
or when.  I would like to describe my experience and see if you can come to
some consensus for an answer.
Saturday, during the event, I could get almost noone to talk to me.
I was dressed appropriately in period garb -- nothing ostentatious but not
cheap or gawdy looking, -- period cut and fabric (linen and wool cotehardie)
-- quality sewing skills and am not new to costuming.  I am a reasonably
attractive female (many people say I am pretty), and in middle age, not over
or underweight.  No hairlips or missing body parts. I am not in any way
physically repulsive.  I bathed and wore deodorant, changed my underwear,
brushed my teeth and wore no perfume.  I was not trying to pick up men (I am
married), but trying to make friends primarily with other women.
However, no matter how many people I tried to make friends with -- people
just generally ignored me.  I tried to strike up conversations with
different
folks who were not otherwise engaged in an activity.  They would make polite
conversation for about 1 minute, then leave.  Later, they would look at me
as
if I did not exist.
I have good social skills, have a college degree that is not in some aspect
of medieval life -- so I could have things to talk about.  But, no one would
give me the chance.
No one ever invited me to sit with their group of friends for a minute.  No
one ever approached me unless I approached them.  I even offered to help
people out with some of the work.
Many people would not even make eye contact with me during the day.
And, I noticed that I was not the only one at the event in that "no man's
land".  Many other people were likewise ostracized.  By about 3:00, I just
gave up and sat in a corner and watched what was going on.
The people at my feast table were nice (they were newbies, too).
But when the feast was over, the cliques of folks started again.  I looked
around for some of the other folks who had been "left out", but they all
left
either before, or as soon as the feast was over.
Now I realize that folks like to visit with their friends, but does mean
excluding people  who could add to your list of friends?  Does no one have a
heart when someone is obviously new or in unfamiliar surroundings?  I admit
that I am a little shy, but I have a good sense of humor and have a lot to
contribute.  But noone bothered to find out.
Not sure I will ever go to another event.
Any suggestions?
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