[MR] newbie

[Tricia Donadio]

My dear lady:

First, do you have a name and e-mail address?  I tried to respond privately
but it bounced.  I am deeply sorry that the experience you had at
your first event was not positive.  Was this your first SCA event in any
kingdom?  Where do you live in our fair Kingdom?  I can tell you that His
Higness and I feel very strongly about newcomers- we were new once, too.  It
is our intention to foster better newcomer activites and interfaces to make
sure that we don't leave our "newbies" unattended or forgotten.  We have, in
fact, challenged the populace to help newcomers with their garb, and
hopefully, build friendships in the process. It sounds as though you may not
be in need of clothing assistance, so that challenge wouldn't necessarily help
you.  However, we do also have officers called Chatelaines who are responsible
for newcomers.  At your next event, please ask at troll if there are any
newcomer activites, or if there is a Chatelaine, and you will probably find
yourself inundated with people to take you around for the day.

If you will be attending Coronation this weekend, you will find at least one
newcomer activity, and I welcome you to come introduce yourself to me.  I will
likely be rather busy, so I may not have a lot of time to spare, but I would
certaily like to make your acquaitance.  I hope your next event is a great
improvement upon your last experience.

Best Regards,
Princess Padraigin



On Tue, 3 Sep 2002 11:55:23 EDT Eventblues at aol.com wrote:

> I attended my first event in Atlantia not very
> long ago.  I won't say where 
> or when.  I would like to describe my
> experience and see if you can come to 
> some consensus for an answer.
> Saturday, during the event, I could get almost
> noone to talk to me.  
> I was dressed appropriately in period garb --
> nothing ostentatious but not 
> cheap or gawdy looking, -- period cut and
> fabric (linen and wool cotehardie) 
> -- quality sewing skills and am not new to
> costuming.  I am a reasonably 
> attractive female (many people say I am
> pretty), and in middle age, not over 
> or underweight.  No hairlips or missing body
> parts. I am not in any way 
> physically repulsive.  I bathed and wore
> deodorant, changed my underwear, 
> brushed my teeth and wore no perfume.  I was
> not trying to pick up men (I am 
> married), but trying to make friends primarily
> with other women.
> However, no matter how many people I tried to
> make friends with -- people 
> just generally ignored me.  I tried to strike
> up conversations with different 
> folks who were not otherwise engaged in an
> activity.  They would make polite 
> conversation for about 1 minute, then leave. 
> Later, they would look at me as 
> if I did not exist.
> I have good social skills, have a college
> degree that is not in some aspect 
> of medieval life -- so I could have things to
> talk about.  But, no one would 
> give me the chance.
> No one ever invited me to sit with their group
> of friends for a minute.  No 
> one ever approached me unless I approached
> them.  I even offered to help 
> people out with some of the work.
> Many people would not even make eye contact
> with me during the day.
> And, I noticed that I was not the only one at
> the event in that "no man's 
> land".  Many other people were likewise
> ostracized.  By about 3:00, I just 
> gave up and sat in a corner and watched what
> was going on.
> The people at my feast table were nice (they
> were newbies, too).
> But when the feast was over, the cliques of
> folks started again.  I looked 
> around for some of the other folks who had been
> "left out", but they all left 
> either before, or as soon as the feast was
> over.
> Now I realize that folks like to visit with
> their friends, but does mean 
> excluding people  who could add to your list of
> friends?  Does no one have a 
> heart when someone is obviously new or in
> unfamiliar surroundings?  I admit 
> that I am a little shy, but I have a good sense
> of humor and have a lot to 
> contribute.  But noone bothered to find out.
> Not sure I will ever go to another event.
> Any suggestions?
> ========================================================================
>                    The Merry Rose Tavern at
> Cheapside
>     List Info:
> http://merryrose.atlantia.sca.org/
>   Submissions: Atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
> Subscriptions:
> http://seahorse.atlantia.sca.org/mailman/listinfo/atlantia
>