[MR] courtesy to ladies

Tue Sep 4 09:17:40 PDT 2001

I am typically one of the great invisibles.  I have been to Universities
where I asked for help and was laughed at while I struggled on with an arm
load of books to teach from, the clothing, and at least one cane. I was to
Pennsic several years back, where I had worked information point and then
taught a class and tried walking back only to fall several times from
fatigue and (as luck would have it in front of Atlantians all three times,
who a good laugh at my expense) I was blown away when the third time I was
down the king of Meridis stepped up, gave the Atlantians a death look and
helped me back to camp.  {When I fell this year it was different and I do
thank those courteous folk who bolted out of Northern Regional Court to come
to my aid. (BTW: I am still on crutches but I have most of the sight back in
the left eye, so I am getting better, though still off from work.)}

I have become very tired with the nonsense so I have simply gotten into the
habit of notifying the autocrat that I will need help when I get there and
that if help is not available then I will not be able to come.  So far this
has worked nicely as the autocrat then has some heads up that help will be
needed to load and unload or they can tell me in advance that they will have
no one around and I should bring my own or not come.  The Scribes workshop
in Isenfir was spectacular, I walked in and half a dozen young folk came
bounding up saying they had been waiting for me and they wanted to help.  It
was one of the best events because I was not in pain and exhausted by
carrying my teaching materials before I ever got started.

I always have help from my household and the members of the local barony and
I thank them for it, but if I go to an event that no one from the Barony or
household is at, either I ask well in advance or typically I am invisible
and I watch the people walk past me.  I am not a brave person and I have a
difficult time talking to someone I don't know let alone asking them for
help.  Shyness in period was a virtue but today it is a curse that leaves
one struggling through an event with clabber and a cane and getting as much
attention as if it were the streets of NY City.

I am often criticized (I am told) because I don't make many southern events
(other than Hawkwood, which I frequent because my father lives there) but
with a long drive, then unloading, setting up, the event itself, the
repacking and then the drive home (just thinking about it makes me tired), I
am often in bed for several days after.  With that little bit of help to
unload and set up and then getting it all back in the car would/and does
make the event easier for me (and I am sure for others like me as well).

I love going to events, I love to teach, and I thank the courteous that come
to the aid of those gentles who need it but to the others I say, try asking
if you could help, it may MAKE someone's day!

Annejke

-----Original Message-----
From: atlantia-admin at atlantia.sca.org
[mailto:atlantia-admin at atlantia.sca.org]On Behalf Of Jerry Wellner
Sent: Tuesday, September 04, 2001 1:45 AM
To: atlantia at atlantia.sca.org; keep at windmastershill.org
Subject: [MR] courtesy to ladies

Greetings,

I rarely post to this list as rarely I have anything that I feel is worth
taking up the time of the masses who read this list, however recently I
received a report that upset me enough that I felt I should say something. I
was informed that at a recent event where parking was a vast distance from
cabin camping facilities a group of ladies, unescorted by respective lords
had a large amount of gear. These ladies made 4 trips from their van to
their cabin at the onset of the event and 4 trips at the end of the event to
return said gear to their vehicle. Growing up in the SCA, I was raised to
hold certain behaviors to be inviolate, and one of these is that a lady
unless by vocal choice should never be forced to carry such loads, that
there should at an SCA event /Always/ be enough gentlemen that ladies do not
have to do these things. Yet these three ladies, one a landed Baroness of
this kingdom Passed several men, one of their own local area, and one a peer
of this kingdom. Perhaps it is the fact that I have never known a life
outside the SCA that makes this seem almost offensive to what I feel our
society represents. To me this is a cornerstone of our behavior and
courtesy. If I am wrong please feel free to tell me so.. however I feel
confidant that this is not the case. To me every lady deserves to be treated
with the honor, courtesy and dignity that I give to my own.. I would hope
that the gentlemen of this or any other kingdom would accord the same to any
lady.

     Forgive me any of your time I have wasted, I merely felt that a
reminder was needed. Thank you.

Ld Jared the Potter

_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

========================================================================
                   The Merry Rose Tavern at Cheapside
    List Info: http://merryrose.atlantia.sca.org/
  Submissions: Atlantia at atlantia.sca.org
Subscriptions: http://seahorse.atlantia.sca.org/mailman/listinfo/atlantia