[MR] top 10 rumors about the cause of Guido's Recent Absence

[Judithsca at aol.com]

I am merely serving as proxy messenger for Lord Domenico Barromini da Mantova (the scoundrel formerly known as Angus), in bequeathing the following messenge unto the assembly of this tavern (smooth disclaimer, eh?)

J



Duke Guido, the famous proprietor of the Knave and
 Coin,  has been missing for several years. After
 bursting upon the scene as the wiley owner of that
 casino and "Den of Iniquity," he was alleged to be
 Captain of the Isenfir Pirates and accused, though
 aquitted, of forging of Letters of Marque. Though
 widely loved, except by Earl Daffyd, whom he strangely
 resembles, he suddenly dissappeared one day under
 mysterious circumstances. rumors have flown fast and
 furious, and here are the top ten most likely rumors
 as to his whereabouts.

 10. His dog ate his hats

 9. He took the "Knave and Coin" Tavern and Den of
 Iniquity on a tour of the Balkans. After a complicated
 series of pyramid schemes caused the economy of
 Albania to collapse, Guido was forced to flee and has
 been living under an assumed name in An Tir.

 8. He was on a secret mission for the Pope to retrace
 the route of Marco Polo. Unfortunately he got lost on
 the way, turning Left instead of right and missed the
 Horde encampment entirely. Instead, he ended up in the
 Tuchux encampment and it took this long to sleep off
 the hangover.

 7. He was at the University of Bologna taking his Law
 degree. (With a Minor in Divinity Studies)

 6. He was in Avignion with the Pope. After a long
 series of nights with much gambling and even more
 wine, after a confusing wager with a complicated side
 bet, and an allegedly "loaded" set of dice, he tricked
 the Pope into coming back to Rome where he belonged.
 Guido has been moving and cataloging the Papal Library
 as penance.

 5. He was hiding in a middle eastern group posing as a
 dumbek player. Let's face it, who'd notice yet one
 more really bad middle eastern drummer in the SCA.
 Anyway, anyone looking for Guido in a middle eastern
 encampment would be too busy staring at the
 overweight/underage belly bimbos to notice the funny
 tall guy with a mustache.

 4. He was in the library at the University of Padua in
 a vain search for documentation for the dances Hole in
 the Wall, Korabushka, and Road to the Isles.
 Unfortunately he had no way of knowing that the
 documentation wouldn't be written for another 400
 years. 

 3. He won a bet with Daffyd and they have both been
 gone all this time while Daffyd has been teaching
 Guido to fight so that Guido can win Crown Tourney in
 the Fall.

 2. He was on a secret mission for the Pope to convert
 the early period Pagan Celts so that their personas
 would more closely accord with history. Failing this
 attempt at completing the job of St. Patrick, he was
 to talk them into being a more appropriate sort of
 Pagan, like a Pole or a Lithuanian. They, at least,
 didn't convert to Christianity until the 14th Century.
 the response he most often got was, "Well, I've gotten
 this far in the SCA without doing any research, why
 should i start now?" 

 1. He was tied up in the oubliette under Daffyd's
 pavillion.

 Domenico
 who used to be Angus,
 but was always

 =====
 Sean Sorrentino
 367 Fletchwood Rd. 33B
 Elkton, MD 21921
 443-553-1677
 Email:
 sdsorrentino at yahoo.com