[MR] top 10 rumors about the cause of Guido's Recent Absence

[agnes daunce]

Greetings!

 Classifying  all Middle Eastern dancers in the SCA as
bimbos is insulting and uncalled for. 

Agnes Daunce 
--- Judithsca at aol.com wrote:
> I am merely serving as proxy messenger for Lord
> Domenico Barromini da Mantova (the scoundrel
> formerly known as Angus), in bequeathing the
> following messenge unto the assembly of this tavern
> (smooth disclaimer, eh?)
> 
> J
> 
> 
> 
> Duke Guido, the famous proprietor of the Knave and
>  Coin,  has been missing for several years. After
>  bursting upon the scene as the wiley owner of that
>  casino and "Den of Iniquity," he was alleged to be
>  Captain of the Isenfir Pirates and accused, though
>  aquitted, of forging of Letters of Marque. Though
>  widely loved, except by Earl Daffyd, whom he
> strangely
>  resembles, he suddenly dissappeared one day under
>  mysterious circumstances. rumors have flown fast
> and
>  furious, and here are the top ten most likely
> rumors
>  as to his whereabouts.
> 
>  10. His dog ate his hats
> 
>  9. He took the "Knave and Coin" Tavern and Den of
>  Iniquity on a tour of the Balkans. After a
> complicated
>  series of pyramid schemes caused the economy of
>  Albania to collapse, Guido was forced to flee and
> has
>  been living under an assumed name in An Tir.
> 
>  8. He was on a secret mission for the Pope to
> retrace
>  the route of Marco Polo. Unfortunately he got lost
> on
>  the way, turning Left instead of right and missed
> the
>  Horde encampment entirely. Instead, he ended up in
> the
>  Tuchux encampment and it took this long to sleep
> off
>  the hangover.
> 
>  7. He was at the University of Bologna taking his
> Law
>  degree. (With a Minor in Divinity Studies)
> 
>  6. He was in Avignion with the Pope. After a long
>  series of nights with much gambling and even more
>  wine, after a confusing wager with a complicated
> side
>  bet, and an allegedly "loaded" set of dice, he
> tricked
>  the Pope into coming back to Rome where he
> belonged.
>  Guido has been moving and cataloging the Papal
> Library
>  as penance.
> 
>  5. He was hiding in a middle eastern group posing
> as a
>  dumbek player. Let's face it, who'd notice yet one
>  more really bad middle eastern drummer in the SCA.
>  Anyway, anyone looking for Guido in a middle
> eastern
>  encampment would be too busy staring at the
>  overweight/underage belly bimbos to notice the
> funny
>  tall guy with a mustache.
> 
>  4. He was in the library at the University of Padua
> in
>  a vain search for documentation for the dances Hole
> in
>  the Wall, Korabushka, and Road to the Isles.
>  Unfortunately he had no way of knowing that the
>  documentation wouldn't be written for another 400
>  years. 
> 
>  3. He won a bet with Daffyd and they have both been
>  gone all this time while Daffyd has been teaching
>  Guido to fight so that Guido can win Crown Tourney
> in
>  the Fall.
> 
>  2. He was on a secret mission for the Pope to
> convert
>  the early period Pagan Celts so that their personas
>  would more closely accord with history. Failing
> this
>  attempt at completing the job of St. Patrick, he
> was
>  to talk them into being a more appropriate sort of
>  Pagan, like a Pole or a Lithuanian. They, at least,
>  didn't convert to Christianity until the 14th
> Century.
>  the response he most often got was, "Well, I've
> gotten
>  this far in the SCA without doing any research, why
>  should i start now?" 
> 
>  1. He was tied up in the oubliette under Daffyd's
>  pavillion.
> 
>  Domenico
>  who used to be Angus,
>  but was always
> 
>  =====
>  Sean Sorrentino
>  367 Fletchwood Rd. 33B
>  Elkton, MD 21921
>  443-553-1677
>  Email:
>  sdsorrentino at yahoo.com
>
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