[MR] Questions On Non-binary Pronouns

[Nest verch Gwilim]

I don't do voice heraldry often, but when I do, I try for "Good Gentles
all!" as the most inclusive option. I suspect "good gentle" would also work
well enough as an alternative to the "m'lord/m'lady many favor for
individual address," and does not imply a specific title. "Cousin" is
another very period form of address, although in the SCA the folks we most
often see using it are Crowns and Baronage.

As for pronouns, I find the best way to get used to using forms of address
one is unaccustomed to is to practice, either alone or with a practice
buddy. Even with practice, you're going to slip up, because we're all human
and it happens. When it does, catch, correct promptly, and move on with the
conversation. Like many here, I had it drilled into me in school that
"they" in English was plural only, but in truth the singular "they" has
been in use in English long enough to predate the use of "th" rather than
þ. And even if it hadn't, living languages are meant to adapt and change.

As for "The Honorable Lord/Lady," it is a styling that is mostly
post-period and what examples I've seen from period were people writing
very formal and flowery correspondence, with the intent to flatter the
person thus described. Some people (and particularly folks in some other
kingdoms, but it varies a lot) like to use it to distinguish those with a
Grant of Arms from those with an Award of Arms, but Corpora says the same
titles apply to both ranks.

—Nest (she/her but ok with they/them if people need practice)

On Mon, Apr 21, 2025, 8:41 AM WILLIAM SOUCY via Atlantia <
atlantia at seahorse.atlantia.sca.org> wrote:

> Hello!
>
> I have been doing field and court heraldry for sometime time now (30+
> years) and I always used to start my announcement cry with "Oyez! Oyez! My
> lords and ladies, pray attend!"
>
> I have amended my cry recently, "Oyez! Oyez! My lords, ladies and good
> gentles all, pray attend!"
>
> Individually, I have used 'Good Gentle', or 'Kind Noble'.
>
> Yours in service
>
> Lord William Ringlancer of Locksley, Northern March Pursuivant
> Extraordinary
>
>
> > On 04/21/2025 7:34 AM EDT Garth Groff and Sally Sanford via Atlantia <
> atlantia at seahorse.atlantia.sca.org> wrote:
> >
> >
> > Noble friends,
> >
> > Having an open discussion about any topic is rare on the Merry Rose, but
> > there is a question that is of interest to me, and should be to us all.
> > That topic is how we use pronouns and honorifics to address members who
> are
> > non-binary. It is a source of confusion for me, but one which I am
> prepared
> > to tackle to make all our friends feel comfortable and welcome.
> >
> > So how do we address someone who is non-binary or transgender without
> > giving them offense? We have at least one member locally who I am told
> > prefers the "you, them, they" combination. That works in real life, and
> > although I may stumble with it a bit, I am certainly willing to address
> > them as they wish.
> >
> > But in the SCA our shtick is to greet one another as M'lord or M'lady.
> This
> > could be very confusing when dealing with non-binary folks, and may not
> be
> > what that member prefers. The first time I encountered this question was
> > while running the archery range at WoW several years ago and met someone
> > who was obviously gender blended. As politely as possible I asked them
> what
> > their preference would be. Their answer was, it didn't matter to them. I
> > would like to believe that they were pleased I would at least try to be
> > accomodating.
> >
> > Though not in my shire, I have a nodding acquaintance with someone who is
> > apparently non-binary and is now a baron/baroness. When we occasionally
> > meet I can safely use "Your Excellency", and dodge the bullet, but this
> is
> > a rare situation.
> >
> > In some written or referential uses, we have a possible answer through
> the
> > neutral term "honorable". "The Honored Lord" or "The Honored Lady"
> (without
> > any context for non-binary usage) was still occasionally heard when I
> first
> > joined 18 years ago. I was told its use was being discouraged, and indeed
> > it has been several years since I have heard the term. Perhaps it is time
> > we brought this back into general use, not strictly for those who are
> > non-binary, but an alternative form of address for anybody and can thus
> > include those who are non-binary or gender-blended without offering
> offence.
> >
> >  I would welcome anyone on this board to share their views, keeping in
> mind
> > good will to all on what may be a sensitive issue.
> >
> > Yours Aye,
> >
> > Mungo Napier, Laird of Mallard Lodge  🦆
> > Continuing a crusade to keep the original Merry Rose relevant and in
> > business.
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