[MR] Questions On Non-binary Pronouns

[Garth Groff and Sally Sanford]

Noble friends,

Having an open discussion about any topic is rare on the Merry Rose, but
there is a question that is of interest to me, and should be to us all.
That topic is how we use pronouns and honorifics to address members who are
non-binary. It is a source of confusion for me, but one which I am prepared
to tackle to make all our friends feel comfortable and welcome.

So how do we address someone who is non-binary or transgender without
giving them offense? We have at least one member locally who I am told
prefers the "you, them, they" combination. That works in real life, and
although I may stumble with it a bit, I am certainly willing to address
them as they wish.

But in the SCA our shtick is to greet one another as M'lord or M'lady. This
could be very confusing when dealing with non-binary folks, and may not be
what that member prefers. The first time I encountered this question was
while running the archery range at WoW several years ago and met someone
who was obviously gender blended. As politely as possible I asked them what
their preference would be. Their answer was, it didn't matter to them. I
would like to believe that they were pleased I would at least try to be
accomodating.

Though not in my shire, I have a nodding acquaintance with someone who is
apparently non-binary and is now a baron/baroness. When we occasionally
meet I can safely use "Your Excellency", and dodge the bullet, but this is
a rare situation.

In some written or referential uses, we have a possible answer through the
neutral term "honorable". "The Honored Lord" or "The Honored Lady" (without
any context for non-binary usage) was still occasionally heard when I first
joined 18 years ago. I was told its use was being discouraged, and indeed
it has been several years since I have heard the term. Perhaps it is time
we brought this back into general use, not strictly for those who are
non-binary, but an alternative form of address for anybody and can thus
include those who are non-binary or gender-blended without offering offence.

 I would welcome anyone on this board to share their views, keeping in mind
good will to all on what may be a sensitive issue.

Yours Aye,

Mungo Napier, Laird of Mallard Lodge  🦆
Continuing a crusade to keep the original Merry Rose relevant and in
business.