[MR] Birth and Death of Charles the Bad

[Garth Groff and Sally Sanford]

Noble Friends,

We go from famine to feast today, with so many interesting things upon
which to comment. Do we learn about John Paston, or Charles the Bad? Given
that scoundrels are so much more interesting than common garden-variety
London lawyers, I opted for Chuck-o.

Actually, this day in 1332 is the birthday of Charles II, King of Navarre,
aka Charles "The Bad", sometimes styled a bit more charitably by his
detractors as Charles "The Faithless".

Charles assumed the throne of Navarre in 1349, a small kingdom sandwiched
between France and Spain. He preferred to live on his estates in northern
France, and rarely visited his kingdom in his early years. He didn't even
speak their language (Occitan). Charles had bigger ambitions. Being a
descendant of Philip IV through his mother, he craved the French throne. He
got pretty close, marrying Joan of France, the daughter of the then-current
French King John II. Unfortunately for Charles, as weak as his House of
Valois relatives were, their claim to the French throne was far more valid.

After arranging the assassination of Charles de la Cerda, Constable of
France (who had been granted lands formerly held by Charles' mother),
relations between Charles and King John went down the tubes. Charles
constantly plotted against his father-in-law, and played footsie with the
English during the Hundred Years War. His shifting allegiances, or the
threats to do so, earned Charles the title "The Faithless".

Charles made a claim on Burgundy following the death of Philip I, the young
and childless Duke of Burgundy in 1361. To have gained Burgundy would have
given Charles the manpower and resources he needed to seriously threaten
the monarchy. This was not to be. King John had a slightly better claim on
Burgundy, and quickly annexed the territory to the crown. He then passed
Burgundy to his fourth (and favorite) son, Philip the Bold, who proved to
be an astute and powerful ruler. This really toasted Charles.

Charles often bragged of his skill as a poisoner (sorry, this isn't in the
Wikipedia article). He claimed to have offed over 60 people, including an
unnamed Cardinal. It is certain he poisoned one of his own followers with a
loaded pear and watched the man's agony with considerable amusement. His
many plots against King John, and recent suggestions by forensic historians
that the ailing king may have been poisoned with arsenic, point to Charles
as a possible culprit in the king's 1363 death.

So how did it all end? Distrusted by everyone, and stripped of his French
lands, Charles retired to Navarre to gnaw on the ends of his plots. In
1387, Charles was 54 and ailing (gout, maybe?). His physician ordered the
King wrapped in linen bandages soaked in brandy. A careless servant girl
knocked over a candle (or used it to cut some threads on his bindings), and
Charles went up like a torch. The general feeling across Europe was that
his death was just punishment for his many crimes.

More about Charles the Bad and his many plots can be found at
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_II_of_Navarre .

Yours Aye,

Mungo Napier, Laird of Mallard Lodge  🦆