[MR] Observations from a Newcomer

[Helen Rogers]

Over the past few months I've followed the various threads on topics from law changes to events to attendance and even the mundane. And, this may seem inappropriate - or perhaps not even courteous of me - but the vast majority of the responses are highly negative. I still consider myself a newcomer (having only been involved almost a year). As a newcomer, I was encouraged to join the Merry Rose for insight into Kingdom events, ideas for garb, merchanting, research, et cetera and so forth. I have found helpful links and some members that have been more than happy to share their insight, experience and knowledge with me. But, I do see more and more of the "it should be done this way" and "that's just not how it's done". 
 For newcomers, this is very disheartening… and can be a turn off to potential members and creates the opposite image of what everyone says is trying to be projected. With time does come change-holy cow, did you know they have horseless carriages now!(lol) Yes, things were wonderful "back in the day" (I wish I were 20 again! - lol), but moving forward is a fact of life. What I've noticed is that one negative statement ignites much of the same and spreads like wildfire on here. I've seen very few supportive comments as opposed to non-supportive on any given subject. I realize this is an open forum, but are things so set in stone and the way they "should" be that there is no room for change or consideration? As for myself, in participating in the SCA I was just looking for a fun, creative, stress-free outlet from my "real world" work life, to kick back and enjoy and learn about history outside of the classroom and make some new friends. I'm gathering everyone has their own or similar reasons for participating. But when it becomes bogged down with who is right or wrong and 'politics'… is it fun anymore?
 Many are quick to put down an idea. I appreciate those that take the time to explain and provide research as to why they don't like an idea or post. In regards to surveys (one recent topic), the overwhelming consensus was that it wouldn't capture the necessary information and would be obsolete. There is a site called surveymonkey.com that allows you to streamline a survey to such a point that you can weed out members vs. non-members, location, preferences and more (moreover - like the mundane world - if you don't vote, you shouldn't complain). The analysis wouldn’t take hours of time to weed through and figure out because the site does it all for you. :) On the other topics, I will reserve comment (yes, those who know me can laugh now) as I either haven't had time to do the research myself or I don't feel like being eaten alive at this moment :D.
 If not for my Baron and Baroness, a few members that have been around since "back in the day" to guide me and wonderful friends I've made in neighboring baronies, I may have left last year. They have been wonderful in clarifying things and helping me in A&S studies and the like. They have exemplified what so many comment about - courtesy. And, I sadly admit, those that continually appear negative and dismissive I've resorted to becoming the latter to them - simply dismiss the condensation or rudeness. Like several in many of the threads have repeatedly posted, we are no better than the next person. We should be willing to share our knowledge and open to new ideas (and potentially better), not lord them over others. I may not be a lifelong SCA member, but I DO bring knowledge into certain areas to the table. I have been a trainer for 13 years and one thing we always taught - change is never comfortable, but you may be surprised by the end result. There may be many more newcomers on here than everyone may think. This is just a newcomers perspective that I hope will be taken to heart and not illicit too much controversy. 
 Cassandra