[MR] Hugs (was: RE: gifts for wandering bards?)

[Terri Morgan]

> Uh.  I have learned to receive unsolicited hugs from strangers 
> with good grace, and even give them when it is socially expected 
> (e.g., welcoming someone into an Order) but as an unhuggy person... 
> I have to say that they're not universal.  I'd so much rather a
>  sincere hand-clasp with eye contact and a word of thanks.
>  - Teleri the Well-Prepared

It might be good to keep in mind that some people can have serious problems
with hugs being pressed on them - even from folks who they are normally
around. I know that as a rape survivor, I have a very difficult time being
put in a position of having to choose between having someone force
themselves into my personal space or else hurting their feelings should I
make a definite refusal... (and I'm old enough to have grown up with
'personal space' being considered sacrosanct, a concept that seems foreign
nowadays.)

Personally, I rather miss the old days of curtsies, bows, and hand-kissing
with hugs being something done afterwards, when both parties have indicated
that they'd like to do so. It seemed more Courtly and medieval, so it
enhanced my perception of 'living in another time' at events. (You know, you
smile, you curtsy/bow and then you open your arms. And if the other person
doesn't open theirs, then the smile and the warmth in your eyes is enough to
indicate delight in seeing each other.)



Hrothny