[MR] People banned from SCA events

[koldune]

As someone who has an Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis personally, I can testify to 
just about everything said below. Human psychology and its identifying 
mannerisms are largely a mystery to me. I could pass an academic exam on 
psychology if I studied it, but apply what I've learned to dealing actual 
people? No way! The methods never work for me the ways the theories describe. 
I'm better off than most people with the same diagnosis, though, possibly 
because I'm older than many others with it (55), so I've dealt with it longer. 
My mismatch with others has never been a huge problem in the SCA, as far as I 
know, and I've been active off and on since 1975.

Mostly, I've had to tell myself that some misunderstandings are simply going to 
happen around me. I've gotten used to dealing periodically with someone reacting 
badly or strangely (to me) to something I've said or done, because they've read 
something into it that I didn't realize might even be there. People wonder why I 
don't simply "get" social cues and the like, as they think everyone should. 
(Compared to the military, the SCA people who don't understand are tame. In 
uniform, when I was there years ago, if you weren't communicating with those 
around you, you were considered deliberately negligent. I believe that my 
military colleagues wouldn't have believed that a disability, instead of an 
attitude problem, there was possible.)  Social miscues and blindnesses have 
become simple fact of life that I resolve as needed. I don't really understand 
having one's feelings hurt, either, beyond that most of the rest of humanity 
works that way, so it's something I need to factor in around others.  I've also 
learned that I do better keeping my mouth shut, unless someone asks me 
something, because I rarely manage to sync well—beyond small talk, which I find 
boring—with most conversations that anyone else considers worthwhile. My wife 
can testify, too, that I'm usually not aware of what my voice tone sounds like 
to her. I don't remember verbal instructions well, either, but I do very well 
with detailed, written ones.

Perhaps the most positive way I have to look at all this is that my point of 
view is different from the average, and that can sometimes be useful. I try to 
see my viewpoint as a sort of musical "harmony" with those around me, rather 
than a perfect match. Having singers do harmonies, instead of all of them 
sounding the same note together, often adds nice dimension to the end result. I 
think of myself as doing the same for those around me. And, like someone else 
recently on this thread, I don't really care who knows about me.

Darri Kveldulffson, Seneschal, Abhainn Iarthair


Message: 6
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2011 08:52:25 -0400
From: Gerita della Mara <geritadellamara at gmail.com>
To: atlantia at seahorse.atlantia.sca.org
Subject: Re: [MR] People banned from SCA events
Message-ID: <4E0C7189.4050306 at gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed


Asperger's Syndrome is, if you will, the left edge of what is now known 
as the Autism Spectrum.  Severe Autism is clear over on the right edge 
of the same spectrum.  The Spectrum was designed in the last 10 years to 
be a better descriptor of the truly awesome variation in people with 
this 'set' of conditions.

People with Asperger's Syndrome (very generally) have difficulty with 
social situations.  They often miss 'cues' that average folks take for 
granted. They are unlikely to be able to carry on a conversation in the 
'take turns talking' sense, and don't read 'body language' well.  They 
don't deal with change well, and often seem un-empathetic (empathy being 
the ability to understand the feelings of others). They may have a very 
formal speech style, and either stare at others, or refuse to make eye 
contact. They can become almost obsessed with one interest, often to the 
complete exclusion of others.  This is where they 'talk your ear off' 
about the minutiae of John Deere tractors, for example, and can't be 
distracted onto another topic.  As kids, their motor development is 
slow, so even as an adult, someone with Asperger's Syndrome can seem 
clumsy.  They can develop "odd" likes and dislikes.  I had a student 
who would eat only PBJ sandwiches; tuna went in a little dish, not on 
bread, for example. They can be extremely sensitive to sound and other 
sensory stimulation, and when over-stimulated can become suddenly 
enraged (the clear answer to this is to remove them to a very quiet area 
to gather themselves).

This is a GENERAL description, and takes up fully half that spectrum I 
mentioned above.  Some folks who seem just a bit eccentric (3/4 of the 
SCA?) may well be at the very left edge!

So, how do you deal with someone like this?  Speak clearly and 
directly.  No sarcasm, no PC-speak, no beating-about-the-bush.  Jokes 
often fall flat, so don't bother.  Give instructions the same way, 
better yet both in written (bullets or list, limit the prose) and verbal 
form.  Assume you'll need to give instructions on 
everything...literally...in the SCA, and some things you think 'they 
should know'.  They don't.

Stefan, if you want articles on "disabilities" please contact me and 
I'll help write them.  Handicapped people were my career until I joined 
their community in 2004.

Gerita