[MR] Newcomers - some thoughts

[Karen Summerfelt-Hume]

I've read some - not all - of the newcomers thread seeking suggestions.  I
was particularly impressed with the "Everyone is a Chatelaine" and it has a
lot of very valid points.

One thing I've tried to do over the years is to NOT ask the newcomers "So,
what are you interested in?"  This is too broad a question and I've gotten
answers that range from "I don't know" to the ever bubbly "Ooh! Everything"
which leaves me trying to find a suitable way to get to a better question.
So I've gone to more specific questions like "So, what made you curious
about us" or "How did you find out about us?"  This is usually more
successful as an approach and from there I can introduce people to someone
who has the same interests or try to put them in contact with someone who is
also interested in the same topic.  Finding ways to communoicate and get the
newcomers seems, to me, to be the tooughest part of the process.

I suspect there is no one, single, sure-fire method to solve the issue of
getting and keeping newcomers.  That would be too easy.

I don't like some of the horror stories I've heard from some newcomers about
prior meetings that sent them running away.  I'm delighted they were
interested enough to try again with another group and found a home.  I've
always felt we were like families and thus each family is different.  I've
found groups I was right at home with and others that gave me very
uncomfortable feelings.  That may be part of the problem - new folks from
out of the area have different ideas and mindsets and ways of thinking or
 behaving.  My open door, friendly group may appear to them as too huggy,
clingy or downright nosy or cold, distant and aloof.

The other thing that we found can drive folks away is too much attention.
Sounds odd but there are people who want only one or two contacts in a group
and then they slowly, carefully work at learning about the rest of the
group.  They may stay or not but they definitely will run if we push them.

It's an interesting challenge.  Probably one we'll never totally solve.
But, PLEASE, don't stop trying!

Chagan