[MR] Atlantia Digest, Vol 75, Issue 13

[Gina Shelley]

As someone who used to "play the game", there are graceful and polite ways to refuse. If that dashed someone's expectations, well, that was neither here nor there. 

 

Not to seem rude or insensitive, but I'll tell you all what I tell young ladies when they are concerned about what young men "expect"... who gives a damn what anyone else expects? 

 

If I recall correctly, most folks back in the bad old days pulled the cloves out with their fingers, and it was not unheard of to give a friendly hug or even a handshake instead of a kiss. That's not to say no tonsil hocky was played...indeed, it was. But my point is that if someone offered a fruit, and you opted to give something as chaste as a gently squeezed hand in return, that was fine. And if it wasn't, well, that was the other guy's problem, not yours. 

 

Here's an idea, for those in favor of bringing back the fruit...why not bring it back with a whole new set of rules that specifically mention less "sleazy" methods of passing it? It did serve a good purpose, it just got sort of a bad rep along the way. Why not clean it up and start the game over?

 

Dulcy

> 
> Whether refusal was "supposed" to be respected or not, it was always 
> an *incredibly* awkward situation that could and did lead to dashed 
> expectations and strained feelings on a few observed occasions.


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