[MR] Hawai'i and Wales to recombine after centuries-old split

[David Ritterskamp]

Mau'i, HI and Wales (AP)- In a long-anticipated and highly-sought-after move, the State of Hawaii and the country of Wales have finalized negotiations to become one cultural group again. After drawn-out and barely-understood negotiations, the two cutural groups realized that they had been effectively "separated at birth", with Hawai'i receiving the lion's share of the vowels, and the Welsh ending up with practically all the consonants. "It's simple," said the newly elected President for Life, Ke'ala ap Dafydd ab Ieuan ap Griffith ap Meredith. "Neither culture could understand each other due to a complete lack of a common tongue. In short, we had all the vowels, and they had all the consonants. We came darn close to declaring "wa" on them, and they came darn close to declaring "wr" on us, because the process was so frustrating that everybody gave up on it at least twice." Sources close to the process say that the new political unit will have many goals, including introducing the previously-known-as-Welsh to sunlight and pineapples, as well as introducing the previously-known-as-Hawaiians to snow. Both groups are expected to appoint full staffs to begin integrating their records as well as correcting thousands of years of each others' grammar. Scientists believe that the split occurred when two small groups of racial ancestors were looking at an ocean sunset, and disagreed over the pronunciation of the word "wow." The Hawaiians preferred "woow", while the Welsh preferred "w'w" due to the fact that they were eating barbecue at the time. 
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