[MR] A little OT: Some funny wisdom for the Valentines holiday and beyond

[ldmolly at md.metrocast.net]

Greetings to the tavern from Mary Isabel. Good Gentles, I pray a moment of
your time and your indulgence in this matter. A few months ago, I
challenged a lady from our Barony to write an article instructing our
newer members on the "gentler arts". The results were so sweet and funny,
I am moved to share them. The author is Lady Rowena, writing as her
pseudonym, Saint Rowena of the Broken Cup (a fitting nickname applied
after an unfortunate fighting incident). Without futher ado, I give you
her article:

"Greetings are sent this month unto the Good Gentles of Dun Carraig from
Saint Rowena of the Broken Cup. With the day of my Fellow Saint Valentine
fast approaching us, I thought it a propitious time to remind All and
Sundry of some simple things that may be done to demonstrate Your Honor to
those of the Other Sex.

Noble Gentlemen heed these words so that the Fair Ladies may soon sigh and
swoon in Your Awesome Presence:
- When a Gentle Lady enters the room or comes to table with you, rise to
your feet to pay honor unto Her, making certain to make meaningful eye
contact and a slight bow so She knows she is well met.
- When She finds it needful to leave, rise also, and offer Her safe escort
to her destination. Be not embarrassed by its location, We must all
venture to Certain Places eventually!
- Be assured that while Verbal Praise and Flirtation is sometimes welcome,
there is much to be said for a Chaste Kiss upon Her hand. It is vital that
this be accompanied by direct, meaningful eye contact, as this is the way
Your Praise of Her Beauty and Honor are communicated! If you are
unsure of the best way to accomplish this, feel free to ask My Lord for
advice or demonstration upon a Lady’s Hand.
- Even though you know a Lady to be well able to carry her own load, be it
a simple cloak or a bag of armor, offer to carry it for Her.


Fair and Noble Ladies heed these words so that the Noble Gentlemen may soon
puff and preen in Your Presence, as well as continue to desire to pay You
Honor:

- When a Gentleman rises to acknowledge your presence in a room or at
table, give them the favor of acknowledging Him back in the same
manner. Remember also that a Glorious Smile which comes not only from
the Heart and Mouth, but also from Your Eyes, is a sight to behold! If You
can manage a demur downcasting of the eyes, that too can be effective.
- If a He offers you safe escort when you leave, accept it graciously, so
that He feels needed. Be not embarrassed of you destination, as there are
places that even Men must go sometimes.
- Be not afraid to offer Your Hand to a Gentleman. If He has the wit to
handle it properly, your Heart will be rewarded! Gaze lovingly back into
his eyes as his reward. If perchance, he is over exuberant in his
attentions, please don’t wipe your hand until you can do so without his
notice, else you unman him with embarrassment!
- A Noble Gentleman knows that a Fair Lady is likely able to fetch and
carry for Herself, even her own armor! If He offers to help anyway, it
hurts Your Honor not a wit to let Him do so. Be sure to praise His
Strength and Kindness, perhaps even a sigh of admiration, to encourage
this behavior with your appreciation.

Ye Olde Fine Print: There is no guarantee implied or given with this
advice. Use it at your own risk for good or ill!"