[MR] SCA Kids and Teenagers (Dawn Davis)

[Angela Faye Yau]

Greetings your Excellency,
 As a parent whose only child has essentially grown up in the SCA, I can answer a few of your challenges.  My daughter has been in the SCA since the age of four and she is now twelve.  We moved from Trimaris to Atlantia 2 years ago so we have some multi-kingdom insight.  I am answering the following from the perspective of someone who is a strict parent and whose child is generally well behaved and well accepted by other adults in the SCA even though I (and even my child) do not always approve of the behavior of other kids in the SCA, or the mundane world for that matter. :)

a)
We often have activities planned for kids and teens and then very few
people utilize them. Why?? We dont know. We would like to know. If you
are a parent, teen or youth, tell me. What is it that you want to see??  
My daughter used to love the kids activities so much that she insisted that I print that schedule from pre-event webpages so she could then nag me to take her and not miss a thing at the event.  Her favorite classes then and now are those where they learn a practical skill or make something period to use in their SCA play.  Jewelry. masks, dolls, calligraphy and illumination practice, etc. all went over well.  Random kids craft hour she did not find interesting because that was the same thing she could do anywhere else.  Now, since we have been here she has tended to want to help the younger kids but does not want to actually do the craft or activity because she judges it to be "baby stuff" although I must add that she was picky even when she was a "baby".  She enjoys being invited to adult classes, especially if it still involves making something and not a "lecture".  She has insisted on being a part of all of our recent clothier's classes in Bright
 Hills and wants to make her patterns and then finish her clothes.  So, I guess the easy focus is make it useful, practical but fun knowledge and add the "do" factor.

b) Often is is very difficult to find folks to staff
programs-classes, activities, competitions, etc. for the kids and
teens. We spend a lot of time begging for folks to run stuff. If you
have an opinion, volunteer. We will celebrate you and you will help
actually make a change. Be the change you want to see (to horribly
paraphrase Gandhi). 
Well, although I love Gandhi and live by this quote, I as an adult almost always pass on leading kids activities.  I know it sounds horrible but in my experience there are lots of poorly behaved kids in the SCA and in general.  I love teaching and adding the "do" factor, but only to those who actually have an interest and are willing to pay attention.  This is why I prefer teaching adults.  To me being left with sibling who are arguing, kids who whine, twitch, or make noise is sheer torture and I'd rather be tarred and feathered.  I am sure this is my own issue since there our saints out there like our Lady Nina who can have fun with the kids no matter what they dish out.  I just choose the SCA for me to have fun not torture and thus the only times I have led kids activities is when someone else will handle the bahavior issues and I can kick out whoever doesn't really want to be there. :)  In Trimaris, I did a lot of teaching with our pages guild which
 consisted entirely of teens who were wonderful kids that wanted to learn and would even take the lead and request their own classes.  For at least two years, 90% of our dancers for local monthly practice were teens.

c) Often autocrats dread having youth or teen
oriented activities at their events for the above reasons and because
the idea is that it is hard to comply with the rules. I encourage folks
autocratting events to get in touch with me or my deputies. We will try
our best to help you. If you never ask, we will never know you need
help. As for the rules...they are different now...go to the youth
section of the Atlantian Web Site. Check the new stuff out. Give us
suggestions. We love input. 
Glad to know this and I will keep it in mind, maybe if you could pair up someone who can handle behavior then you would get a better range of guest teachers.  My daughter and the kids she hung out with were always impressed when someone "special" dropped in or offered  a class.  One of the most effective "quest" activities was having the kids hunt for and properly introduce themselves to several pointy hats and other notables.

d) If you have kids, volunteer to be a
local chancellor of youth. It is not as painful as some folks think. If
you are interested talk to your seneschal or talk to me. I will do my
best to help you out! 
The biggest idea I can put forth is that the
kids, teens, youth, whatever you call them should be part of our
society. Not separated from us. They should be given chances to
participate. Remember that enforced labor is not always fun. Sitting
all day in a classroom while folks are outside messing around is not
always what you want to be doing. If you think it would be no fun,
younger folks probably would too. Just remember....those under 18 are
people too. Treat them with the same respect as you want from them. 
While for above stated reasons I will not be in charge of youth anytime soon, I have always raised my child to understand that if she does not behave as an adult and with the ideals of the society in mind then she will not be welcome to play this game alongside me.  I did follow through and pack up everything and immediately leave an event once because she argued with me, but it only took that once. ;)  She quickly learned that when she behaved like a lady people in the SCA treated her as such and welcomed her back with open arms.  She now can coax lessons from great artisans and bowmen alike and does so regularly, although the bowmen did invite her to shoot first...  I am glad that she is given all of these opportunities to be included and that she feels on par with the adults

in this society in a way that she may not feel yet in the mundane world.  I am glad that in the SCA she loses the weird shyness thing that has popped up with "tween-ness" and stays the totally outgoing kid that she was before.  I still feel that it is my responsibility to raise her to be worthy of the attention and support that is lavished upon her in this society.  Perhaps if more kids and teens had this all along and were truly "raised by the village" we would have a better world today.  I have met some of the best teens and young adults in this group and I truly feel it is one of the best experiences for my child.

Please feel free to contact me for any follow-up feedback or questions that you might have.
 Angela Yau 
Lady Faye de Trees, Chronicler, Barony of Bright Hills


"For in the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught." 
-Baba Dioum