[MR] Black Diamond Responds

[David Ritterskamp]

DISCLAIMER:



This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to actual persons or events is 
purely for the sake of schtick.  Any resemblance to actual places, well, 
that’s verisimilitude.



WAR OF THE WINGS:

PART THE SECOND


Majesties

We have recently seen a message passed to us by a friend of Black Diamond, 
who shared with us a missive from Jonathan Blackbow to Your Imperial 
Majesties, who are doubtless as shocked as we are.

For we are shocked - SHOCKED, we say - at the slander that our erstwhile 
neighbors to the south inflict on our populace. This vile Blackbow (who, as 
you are well aware, had the temerity to cross blades only a fortnight past 
with Your honorable and rightful Heir, Prince Logan); this partisan on the 
political scene; this talker-behind-other-people's-backs; this brazen-faced 
knave, this base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, 
filthy worsted-stocking knave; this despoiler of livestock; this...

Where were we?

Ah, yes. To slander not only Black Diamond, but the innocent desire of our 
Baronial daughter, Samantha the Innocent, whose child-like, innocent wish 
for a pair of wings is like it was Expressed by innocent ANGELS, this is 
perfidy! Can this villainy stand?

NO! WE SAY NO!

Majesties, on bended knee, and with all humility, we ask that you allow this 
vile slander on our populace and our daughter be avenged! We ask not that 
Atlantia's armies descend on the libelous Sacred Stone. We ask not that 
Atlantia's coffers be made poorer by even a groat in the defense of fair 
Black Diamond and innocent, innocent Samantha. We ask not that Your 
Majesties turn your invincible Imperial wrath on the low braggart, Blackbow, 
who we remind you is a lily-livered, action-taking, glass-gazing, 
superserviceable, finical rogue, no. No, that would be wrong. All we ask is 
your gracious permission to ask of your subjects that they aid Black 
Diamond, fairest of all your baronies, in her hour of need.

Atlantia! Pray attend! This slander shall not stand! We will meet these vile 
disseminators-of-lies and their lackey Blackbow on the field of battle! We 
ask that all friends of Black Diamond join our ranks and raise their blades 
to the evil-tongued aggressors to the south, whose 58th legion even now 
threatens our pastoral borders, our women, our innocent children. Our fleecy 
livestock.

Think of the livestock!

Our barony is large, but we are a peaceful people. We have no vast, standing 
army like the perfidious Sacred Stone, whose aggressive behavior is clearly 
unjustified expansionism. We ask your help. We offer our allies eternal 
welcome in our lands, the comfort of our bonfires, the ballads of our bards, 
and the cordials of our baroness, rightly famed throughout the kingdom. We 
offer our allies the glory of defending a righteous cause, the honor of 
attending friends in need.

Our enemies, we offer blood. We offer the grief of their women, children, 
and especially their soon-to-be-lonely livestock.

Samantha wanted wings, just wings. Is it so wrong for a little girl to dream 
of flying? Is it so wrong to soar on the airy fancies of childhood? We say 
it is not, Atlantia. It is not.

What is wrong, what is libelous, what is vile, is to twist the words of a 
little girl to justify expansionist aggression. Do our armies threaten the 
borders of Sacred Stone? They do not. Black Diamond demands justice! 
Atlantia attend, and drive the enemy back to their homeland, and there 
vanquish them.
We say Black Diamond will have her justice! We say Samantha will have her 
wings!

Your Servants,
Angus and Nastasiia,
Baron and Baroness of Black Diamond

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