[MR] recent conversations about lawsuits

[Becky McEllistrem]

The recent conversation about lawsuits reminds me of
several things.  First remember that molesters etc. of
children and teenagers are artful manipulators.  They
seek the weaknesses of the parents and the children
they wish to exploit and capitalize on them
mercilessly.  So while one part of me wants to say
“where were the parents?” research into these
situations teaches me that exploiters will hunt down
the weakest parents and manipulate them for quite a
while to reach their goal.  They will also manipulate
the children to get what they want.  

They will avoid those parents and children with strong
self esteems who have been taught to defend themselves
frequently.   Reminding young  children to say “no” to
grownups when they don’t feel comfortable and
revisiting these subjects is almost as useful as
watching them 100% of the time.  Teaching children to
be as vigilant as parents and reminding them to report
inappropriate behavior they’ve seen towards other
children is also as important as watching them 100% of
the time.  

The molester etc. is a patient person who will
engineer and wait for their moments for a long time
regardless of how vigilant other adults are.  So while
we can say “no single adult should be with kids ever”
we also know that the one time kids are alone with
said manipulators could be the one time molestation
happens.  

This is why bringing the situation out into the open
is so hurtful to so many.  So many times I heard
adults say “I was at the house with that man for X
hours and he didn’t do anything!!”  Of course he
didn’t.  He was waiting for his witnesses to leave. 
This is why when reports happen many adults will
object strenuously.  The manipulator builds up these
witnessed sessions so that when challenges are brought
the programmed, expected response is made.  

The sad part is when molestation or other problems
happen by someone met through SCA it doesn’t matter
that they were never the seneschal or never X officer
or Y officer.  It only matters that the modern parents
saw their child meet the offender through SCA and SCA
gets sued.  It doesn’t mean we’ll lose every lawsuit
that happens but lots of money is lost defending
ourselves and we lose our reputation as a society of
courtesy.

When a kid gets molested by someone claiming to be a
school coach and they find out later that the adult
was simply a volunteer helping out with a specific
event it doesn’t matter that the adult never worked at
said school.  The school still ends up spending money
defending itself in a lawsuit and the reputation is
damaged.  That's where the kid met the adult.

We are all SCA to people that are not SCA.  We must be
vigilant at all times and we must do whatever we can
to protect ourselves.  We want to say “oh there’s not
many people or newcomers here so I’m not going to care
about behavior as much, etc.”  That doesn’t matter. 
It only takes that one person to generate a lawsuit
and potentially a lot of costs for SCA.  As imperfect
as they are we must take steps to protect ourselves if
we are to continue with a long future.  I don’t have
good suggestions for dealing with this except maybe be
sure that SCA activities always happen around multiple
witnesses.  There’s always flaws with that idea too. 
We need to brainstorm our own ideas and plan for a
better future.

end of soapbox
Rebecca