[MR] How does one deal with difficult children of nobility?

[Kerri Martinsen]

How does anyone in any society deal with a bully?

The best way I know of to deal with it is to tell the child that he/she is being inapproperate and that you will discuss it with their parent as soon as court is over - they are busy right now and may not be disturbed.  And then follow thru by explaining to the parent exactly what had transpired AS SOON AS POSSIBLE after court.  

Any parent (be they be King/Queen or Kitchen Help) should be informed as soon as relistically possible when the child is misbehaving.  It is the parent's responsibility to disipline the child unless another adult has been placed in that roll (Nanny).

It seems to be a case of "don't you know who I am?".  It happens in Real Life and it is bound to happen in SCA life.  

Please keep in mind that a child can be asked to leave the children's corner for misbehaving.  
>From the Minor's Rules webpage: http://kmom.atlantia.sca.org/KMOM_Policies/participation/participation.html

"Behavior: Children must be checked on periodically by parents, guardians, or older teens to ensure their safety and suitable behavior. Parents will be responsible for disciplining their children. Children who are disruptive of programming will receive one verbal request to stop the specific behavior. Continued disruption will result in the child being returned to the parent. The child may not return to activities without parent or guardian in attendance."

Children in the SCA do not "retain" the accolades of their parents.  While they may be more active, they still have to earn their awards.

Vitha
Lady Hrosvitha von Celle
Lochmere MOM
Mother to a 4 yr old glamer queen

-----Original Message-----
>From: Jennifer Dobyns <jendobyns at verizon.net>
>Sent: Feb 5, 2007 11:55 AM
>To: The Merry Rose <Atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>
>Subject: [MR] How does one deal with difficult children of nobility?
>
>Greetings unto the Tavern,
>
>I am sorry, I cannot think of a more delicate way to ask the question  
>in the subject line.  So there it is.
>
>Let's just say this is a hypothetical situation.   A child whose  
>parent is "somebody"  decides that s/he wishes to interrupt court for  
>a non-emergency.  S/he is advised that it would be inappropriate to  
>do so just now, that the situation for which s/he desires to  
>interrupt court can be easily dealt with to his/her satisfaction once  
>court is over (a matter of a few minutes).  S/he then tells the adult  
>in a way that implies "you'd better not mess with me or it will be  
>very bad for you" that his/her parent is an "important person" and  
>that s/he can go in and interrupt if s/he so wishes.   The issue here  
>is not his/her interrupting court (there could be a very valid  
>understanding about this between parent and child), _it is that s/he  
>feels it is appropriate to adopt a threatening attitude about being  
>able to do so because s/he has a parent of rank within the society_.
>
>This same child has acted in a bullying way to other children in the  
>children's area during the day as well, shoving them aside as s/he  
>chooses to get to things s/he wishes to see/do or just, apparently,  
>to take away what is pleasing others (a cry for attention, perhaps,  
>in all cases?).
>
>What should one do?  I can see the potential for a parent to be in  
>such a state of denial about their child's behavior that any bearer  
>of bad tidings could be in serious trouble.  I suspect that in such a  
>case as the one set out above that it could be that the child really  
>needs/wants attention and has found a way of manipulating the system  
>within the society to get it and that the parent might be completely  
>clueless that this is going on.  But being threatening towards  
>another adult is troubling.  Bullying other children is troubling.   
>And what message is this sending to the other young members of the  
>society?
>
>Food for thought, eh?
>
>Genevieve D'Aubigne
>who is currently dealing with her own sometimes difficult child 
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