[MR] Can we approach this with some understanding?

[Terri Morgan]

Gravy, guys,
   Is there just a need to argue and escalate here?

Turn these viewpoints around in your head for a moment:

- Some folks think it's unkind for a person invited to a specific activity
as an honor to them to then be required to pay for it if the guest hadn't
planned on being there in the first place. This is not a bad viewpoint.

- Some folks think it's unfair for everyone else to be required to pay for a
"common attendee's" specific activity when it involves what everyone else
must pay for. This is not a bad viewpoint.

- Some folks think it's no big deal - it's happened in the past and various
workarounds have been done, to wit:

- the Royal or Baronage doing the inviting send one of their
retainers/helpers to the Troll to see if Person A and their escort is
onboard or not. Since this usually happens along with "is Persons B, C, or D
onsite (because there is Court business)?" it has been a common occurrence.
If Person A is onboard, no biggie, if they are not, then usually a
conspiracy of secrecy and fun ensues whereby the staff vies with the
Royal/Baronage party as to who gets to 'make it work' so the Royals/Baronage
can  invite Person A and their escort.  

- The Royals or Baronage, in order to control strict secrecy, do not consult
the Troll and so Person A is invited and it is then learned that they were
not planning on attending feast... they either accept and make their own
arrangements to send money to the Troll booth or decline in honour.
    At that point, it may be that the decline is accepted, or we revert to
"the conspiracy of secrecy, blah, blah, blah" because the
staff/Royal/Baronage parties *really* want that person to be able to stay
for feast. And in that conspiracy of kindness, the cooks, the Autocrat, and
everyone else who is aware of the boggle does something to smooth it out.
This usually makes everyone feel really good and the invitees get the added
good vibes of knowing that they are treasured.

Obviously, somewhere along the line, this conspiracy of kindness failed
often enough that when a certain person determined to sit the Throne and
succeeded, they said, "I shall fix this so people I want to honour with a
special activity won't feel embarrassed or pressured as a result of my
desire to honour them" and so they wrote a letter to the Kingdom Acorn.

Can we acknowledge the intent and work with that kind impulse to make it
happen, please? Ignore the phrasing and any bruised egos and just see it as
a something nice that should be fixable on a regular basis rather than the
hit-or-miss fixes that we've used in the past?

Can we talk about *solutions*, please, and ACTUALLY HEAR EACH OTHER?

*ahem*

Sorry. All the various voiced-internal dialogues were overwhelming me for a
moment...


Hrothny
--
Dame Hróðny Rognvaldsdottir, OP, OL, online2much at cox.net
"Learning compassion eventually means unlearning hatred." – Dianne Sylvan