[MR] Society Notice

[Mrs Pix]

The best way to get heard is to send in a letter or to call those in
charge.  They can best make decisions when they have the input and ideas
from the people whom they set the rules for.  Below is a cut and paste of a
letter that I send to the BoD.  They may just as well toss it in the round
file but I did at least make my attempt to communicate my thoughts and
ideas.  Some of you may agree, some may disagree, and I feel that overall
some of what I say simply recaps what everyone is saying.

Cut and paste begins>>>>

It was only just recently mentioned on a email list for my kingdom
(Atlantia) that the Board of Directors is considering an action to being
more proactive in helping reduce the number of abuses of children at society
events.  I have some thoughts and ideas that I would like to share with them
that I hope will be beneficial to the Society as a whole and to the people
who we are trying to protect.

I do not know how the BoD plans to carry out background checks on all of the
potential people who would come into contact with children at each event.  I
am certain that there are plenty of other responses received on this.  The
only logical solution that I can think of to ensure that everyone who
volunteers to help with children, even for just half an hour due to an
emergent need, is to perform a background check on every membership
application.  While we do agree that background checks would not only serve
as a liability issue but also as a deterrent for would-be abusers, there
must be more in place.  The kind of people who are likely to take advantage
of children are the kind who know how to fit in with a group and are able to
be someone who the children find "fun".  If the two-adult rule is failing to
protect children, we need to think about HOW it is failing.  If parents are
physically present with their children at all times then nothing should
happen to the children.

My husband and I were discussing parental responsibility for the safety of
their own children at events.  Children should not be allowed to run free
without a parent or designated baby sitter actively attending to them.  In
other words, children should not be running free and unsupervised at events
and children should not be allowed to be left unattended by a
parent/guardian at the children's' activities areas.  I am aware that there
are parents who do actually drop off the kids at the children's' areas and
go about their own things.  These are unacceptable examples of poor parental
responsibility that should result in empowering the autocrat of an event to
eject the family from the site immediately, should the parents decline to
watch their own children or designate a dedicated baby sitter.  Children
don't care where mom and dad are unless they have a need (bathroom, food,
tired, comfort).  What is on their minds is what can they do next that is
fun, and where are their friends.  The huge demand on our own personal time
is a contributing factor as to why we do not yet have children of our own.
It is a hard, stressful, and demanding job that goes mostly un-thanked for
at least 20 years and we know that we are not yet up to taking on that task.


Perhaps there needs to be a Society-wide awareness campaign on children's
safety.  A further deterrent for would-be abusers would be the knowledge
that EVERYONE is aware of the fact that people like them are involved in the
SCA and that everyone is looking after the children.  Make it a separate
mailing, instead of a message in the kingdom newsletter, that should
hopefully get all paid membership to open separately and read and be aware.
Have kingdoms to encourage the groups within to post signs at events with
catchy slogans to help keep people on their toes.  This awareness campaign
should serve to inform parents of the possibility of danger to allowing
their children not be attended.  The campaign should also encourage everyone
in attendance to keep an eye on the children no matter who they belong to.

The culture of the SCA is that we feel more comfortable at events than we do
at the mall or at a baseball game.  We feel that our stuff and our children
are safe to let lay around unattended because we are a group that values
honor and chivalry.  No one is going to bother anyone else's' belongings.
This is what opens up the SCA to predators who are chased out or deterred
from other activities where they find their next victims.  In this kind of
trusting environment, abusers can exploit this trust to serve their own
twisted desires.

Parents who are too busy in their activities to actively be with their
children at events need to not bring the children along.  Children who are
found wandering around with out parents or baby sitters right there with
them should be returned to their parents.  And parents who refuse to be
responsible for their children's safety should be ejected from the site with
no refunds, and/or asked to not come back until they can make appropriate
arrangements for their children.  I am certain that the autocrat or event
steward would rather not have to do this, and I am certain that there will
be loud protests from these exact parents who do not want to put their own
fun aside for the sake of their children.  If we are to protect our children
then we need for everyone to be pro actively minded.

Cut and paste ends<<<<

What I think needs most attention at this time is that parents take
responsibility for their children and not let them just run free at events.
I think that we as attendees should also do our part in looking our for
children of negligent parents (and I think most of us would like to think
that we do).  I do feel that parents who continually act with disregard for
their children's safety and well being (i.e. not being with them or having a
designated sitter) should be dealt with in a way that they feel the need to
take appropriate action.  In other words, restrict them from their
activities until they make proper arrangements for their children.  I like
the idea of tagging the kiddies and yet dislike it at the same time,
remembering the teachings that I received as a child to not wear my name on
my shirt because strangers might try to be my friend and then try to kidnap
me or hurt me.

Perhaps even have parents sign a waiver that they understand that even
though youth activities persons have passed a background check, it does not
guarantee that their children are safe out of their sight.