[MR] peeved woman with a pointy stick

[j j]

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This message would have gone only to the sender of the original message, except that I thought that it might have some value to the rest of the kingdom, especially those who are not familiar with rapier in Atlantia.  If not, my apologies in advance.

First of all, I don't know Henry, his ex-wife, or her husband.  Other than general sympathy for a bad situation, I don't care about the details of their lives.  I am, however, aquainted with, though *not* close friends with, all of the other individuals and groups mentioned in Henry's message.  Regarding Henry's general insults to the Academie and to Atlantia, Gunther said it well.  Ditto.

Henry - What bothered me most about your message is the doubt that it casts on the achievements of a good number of my friends and of acquaintances who have been kind and helpful to me as a new fighter.  Rapier fighters in Atlantia are respected throughout the Known World for good reason - they are generally good fencers and good people.  Sucking up to the right people just doesn't cut it, though I'm sure it helps here as everywhere else.

What I'm especially miffed about is the insinuation that some of our scarves were elevated because of who they were dating or sucking up to rather than because of their skills or contributions to the Academie.  As a female scholar (for those who don't know - that means I'm authorized in rapier and wear a blue scarf) who greatly admires and respects the female scarves and other fighters in Atlantia, I take great insult at the insinuation that some of them don't deserve their rewards.  I'm not naive enough to think that everyone in the SCA deserves every reward they're ever received, but how dare you publicly denounce the entire Academie as corrupt, thereby casting doubt on every scarf in the kingdom, and how dare you suggest that some of the women are sleeping their way to the top?  Is it possible that your ex deserves her scarf?  The women I know in the Academie work tirelessly organizing and running tournaments, organizing and teaching classes, setting up the field, marshalling, running local practices, etc. for the Academy and for the Society as a whole.  Women from other groups have taken time out of their schedules to help me with my fighting and with armor, knowing that they'll never get an ounce of credit if I later excel.  In addition to insulting the Academie as a whole, you owe a very big apology to every woman in the Academie for suggesting that they get their rewards through anything but honest service to the Academie and to the kingdom.

You also owe an apology to the individuals and groups whose names you dragged through the mud in your tirade against your ex.  I am *very slightly* aquainted with every person on the list of scarves/laurels you count as your ex's accomplices.  You publicly denounced some of the hardest working and most welcoming-to-new-people people I've met in the SCA because they refused to ostracize a woman in the Society for her choices of romantic relationships in her mundane life.  Some of the groups mentioned in your email have been, by far, the most interesting, fun, and welcoming groups that I've encountered in the SCA.  They don't deserve this BS.

The particularly sad part of this is that I don't feel that I can even call you out under my own name.  After your tirade about corruption in the Academie, I'd worry that half the kingdom would wonder which of the provosts I'm sleeping with (none, for the record) and the other half would wonder who I'm trying to suck up to by writing this.  I especially worry that new people who are potentially interested in rapier will be put off by your message.  I have experience NOTHING but support, help, and encouragement from everyone I've encountered on this kingdom's fields, and especially from the leaders of our Academie.  Rapier in Atlantia is, quite simply, a blast.

Having said all this, I'm sorry that you're hurting, and I don't blame you for dropping out of the SCA after this mess.  It sucks to get dumped, especially if you feel wronged.  Find someone you trust to talk to about this and go find another group to fence with.



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