[MR] Wanna see my impression of Hamlet's dad?

[Wayne G Han]

Hey all...

At the risk of continuing this discussion....I wanted to give a reply to
this to clarify why at least *I* posted in response to Mr. Stoneking's
posting....

Firstly, I wanted to say that your and Renard's comments are very
compassionate, and do you both credit.  I do not think that all the
responses to Eric's posting are justified in their tone or content.  I
myself may be a bit guilty of this.

However, before you are so quick to defend Mr. Stoneking because of his
emotions, perhaps you should consider the damage he has done to others with
his posting.  People's private lives do not deserve to be smeared on this
public list.  I think it would be hard to be one of the subjects in Mr.
Stoneking's posting and not be feeling something negative.  Mr. Stoneking
cannot simply be excused of his tirade because of his hurt.  I know that
sounds a bit brutal, and I sympathize, I really do.  I have never been
where he is, so I can't say I understand, his hurt must be great to post
something like this.  But quite simply, his attack on others should have
not been posted here.  You say to at the least, simply ignore it, but how
can such an affront to other people, and etiquette that all the rest of us
try to live by go without comment?

In his posting, he reinforced negative conceptualizations and attitudes
about rapier in this Kingdom.  I'd rather he continue to call me immoral
and unethical all day, then reverse the work that so many rapier fighters
in this Kingdom are doing.  I could not fail to comment on his
posting.  The continued health of rapier here and in the SCA is too
important to me.

To sum up, in his post he 1) attempted to hurt other people in a public
manner 2) he attacked the rapier institution.  Other people have found
other faults with his message, but I will not speak to those, since it's
the above two that mean the most to me.  I know he's hurt, and I wish this
was not so, but it does not change the nature of his offense, even if it
was borne out of passion.  Passion is no carte blanche.  Perhaps we can
give a little more leeway because of it, but IMO, he's overstepped some
major bounds.

I just hope he finds peace somewhere.

Regards to you Bryan, and you Renard,

Gunther





At 02:11 PM 1/6/03 -0500, you wrote:
>Greetings all,
>
>If you feel insulted by Eric's earlier tirade, please read this...
>
>As Renard very compassionately stated a bit ago, someone who is hurt and angry
>is apt to lash out, whether justified or not.  Those in a more
>emotionally-detached position (as nearly all of us are in this case)
>should not
>allow words uttered in pain to insult us.  We know if the words are true
>or not,
>and if not, then we can ignore them, and feel sympathy for the pain that
>someone
>is enduring.  Hitting someone back who is already in pain and angry or fearful
>accomplishes nothing and only further aggravates a situation (if they could
>figure that one out in the Middle East, it'd be a much more peaceful place).
>
>So please, no more sarcastic replies or rants of indignation.  Anger is
>part of
>the grieving process, and we've all gone through it.  If you disagree with
>Eric's assertions, then rest comfortably knowing that they are incorrect
>or are
>at worst overly-broad generalizations, and resist the urge to slam
>him.  And if
>in your own case you see any kernels of truth in them, take them to heart.
>Lashing out often accompanies grief, and you have here someone feeling a
>lot of
>grief.  Offer sympathy and kind understanding if you can, and if you can't,
>offer your silence, comfortable in the knowledge that his words have not
>harmed
>you unless you are so unsure of yourself that you allow them to.
>
>Remember that with little more than compassion for the pain of others, our
>community and our world could be a place of real peace.  Which is a part
>of why
>I bothered to write this.  While this idea is true in this particular case, it
>is also true in a much broader sense, and in a world filled with pain and fear
>and those who would harm us simply that we would "understand their pain", take
>the proactive step and be compassionate now.  Let your words and your actions
>soothe hurt and anger, not add to them.  Save your fighting spirit for
>those who
>would do you harm out of a calculated desire to advance themselves by your
>suffering; offer kindness to those who lash out only in pain and anguish.  Be
>strong in your own convictions so that words spoken in grief cannot harm you,
>then offer that strength to those in grief, for they are in a weak time of
>their
>lives.  Do this, and pray that when the tables are turned and it is you
>who are
>suffering, others will treat you thusly.
>
>Bryan
>Obnoxious Peacenik

Wayne Han
Graduate Research Assistant
Clemson Institute of Environmental Toxicology (CIET)
509 Westinghouse Rd.
P.O. Box 709
Pendleton, SC 29670
T: (864) 646-2197
F: (864) 646-2277
gwayne at clemson.edu

",,,alert and healthy natures remember that the sun rose clear.  It is
never too late to give up our prejudices.  No way of thinking or doing,
however ancient, can be trusted without proof.  What everyone echoes or in
silence passes by as true to-day may turn out to be a falsehood to-morrow,
mere smoke of opinion..." - Thoreau (1854)