[MR] Re: Secrecy

[Lisa and Ken Theriot]

[Why is it a good thing not to let the candidate know?  I've listened to
folks from other kingdoms describing how they were able to plan for and
anticipate their Laurel ceremonies.  I don't understand the rationale
for Atlantia's tradition of secrecy, especially given the drawbacks.]

It's just that-- a tradition, and I agree it's a bad one.  Having lived
in many kingdoms, I can tell you that most give peerage candidates more
notice.  Some kingdoms have a stated policy against "surprise"
elevations, for a variety of reasons:

1.  This is something that's going to happen to you ONCE.  Think of it
as a wedding.  Even if you love surprises, and even if you have many
gifted well-meaning friends, would you want them planning every detail
of your wedding?

2.  Fealty is a serious oath.  It requires thought.  Again, would you
want a surprise wedding?  Would you want to make a serious commitment on
the spur of the moment?

3.  People do turn it down (I know two personally).  They deserve the
opportunity to do that in relative private, as their reasons are likely
not for general consumption/gossip.

4.  Bad feelings are often created within the populace, after the order
is called up and everyone knows there's going to be a peer and some
people are thinking to themselves, "Is it me?" or "Is it my best
friend/significant other/head of household/etc. who has been so long
overlooked?"  If it is generally known that there are no surprises,
people know that if it were going to be them or their nearest and
dearest, they'd know, so no one has to be disappointed.


"Surprise" is generally more pleasant for the surpriser than the
surprisee.  I am biased, because I loathe surprises.  (I used to unwrap
my Christmas presents to look at them and then rewrap them; I honed my
acting skills in the process...)  But even for those on both sides (-er
and -ee) who love surprises, they will be satisfied: there is always
SOME point of revelation, even if it is not on the day, in open court.

I was informed quietly, in a shady spot away from the general tumult of
the event.  Someone came to tell me that TMs wanted to see me, which
wasn't unusual as I was a kingdom officer.  As I approached I saw a
small group of people around TMs, some particular friends of mine, and
some others, though the penny never dropped that they were all,
suspiciously, peers.  I got to go through all the emotions without being
on immediate public display, for which I was most grateful.  I can still
call the entire scene to mind if I close my eyes, so obviously it
managed to be a significant emotional event for all that it was fairly
intimate, perhaps more so because of it.

I got to choose my attendants, choose who did my scroll, I got a great
new outfit (Elizabethan, so corseted and fitted that it would have been
impossible to make for me on the sly), etc.  For anyone who thinks the
occasion less for advance notice, I can assure them that I was totally
calm sitting through court UNTIL they called up the Order at which point
I started to hyperventilate and prayed I wouldn't pass out in open court
(that corset didn't help-- live and learn!).  I got two significant
emotional events for the price of one.  Ask anyone who has reigned if
they feel their Coronation was LESS significant because they'd been
planning it for months!

I admit that there are people who love surprises so much that they'd
really rather not know.  Since a peerage isn't something that you get
overnight, there is plenty of opportunity to communicate that to friends
and mentors within the Order.  But I bet if you took a poll, most people
would want to know, and of the people who didn't want to know, a
significant portion would want their significant others to know and be
present.


Adelaide