[MR] re: Peer fear and awards

[David Wendelken]

> Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2001 10:57:33 -0400
> From: nix at iolinc.net (Malone, N.)
> To: SCA_Merry Rose <atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>
> Subject: [MR] New orders
>
> To one and all; Good day;
> I have been informed privately that the current kingdom orders were
> originally principality orders that were meant specifically for
> teaching, so be it. I have no complaint with any of that. Unfortunately
> that means that there are no stepping stone / Journeyman awards below
> peerage in this kingdom. I believe that these awards are perceived as
> such and being similar to other kingdom's award structure. This would
> seem to illustrate some of the current frustrations among the populace.
> This would lend more credence to the idea of new awards.

As Sir Thomas Moore would argue, the maxim of the Law is that silence
implies consent.
I just moved to this kingdom, and have yet to learn about the different
awards.
Thus, I neither challenge nor agree with the above part of the missive.

> Also, I realize that there are MANY peers who are constantly teaching
> and searching for new members to elevate, this is not perceived as the
> common attitude.

I am certainly pleased to hear this.  Given the fine quality of peers I have
met in other Kingdoms, I would be surprised to learn differently.

> Maybe a teaching/PR campaign to teach people the
> criteria could replace the "knowing the right people" perception.

I'm not sure that the perception is wrong - from a certain point of view.

If a person does Laurel quality work, but no Laurel knows of their
existence, they will never be recognized by the other Laurels.
That is rather obvious, but true nonetheless.

Now, let's look at it from the other direction.  If a Laurel knows of a
person who is doing Laurel-quality work (and is of the right "mind-set" on
courtesy, etc.), they are obligated to bring this person to the attention of
other Laurels.  To do otherwise would be a dereliction of their duty.

The other Peerages operate under similar rules, thus the same situation
applies.

So, it will *always* come down to *who knows who*.

This is not an evil situation. It is not *politics*.  It just is.  Just like
Gravity or Growing Older.
One has to learn to deal with it.  Ideally, one learns to leverage it.

Does that mean that people need to "suck up" to get recognized?
I cannot speak for any of the orders of the Peerage, but I suppose one does
need to do so *if* one wants to be recognized as a *toady*.

I believe in my heart that *good* people who have common interests have a
solid basis for friendship and respect.  When I meet someone that, to my
mind, fills those criteria, I want to become their friend - because I enjoy
their company and what I learn from them.
I believe that It is for this reason that most peers and other like-minded
individuals spend time with one another - because they genuinely like the
person and enjoy learning with them.

Now we come full circle.  Since they spend more time together, they learn
from each other at a faster rate.  Since the peer now knows the person, and
has learned their capabilities, they become duty-bound to inform their Order
when they believe the person is ready.

It's not evil favoritism, it's as natural as friendship and respect.

What, then, is someone to do in order to "get known"?

Be friendly, courteous, and helpful to all you meet.

If you got excited when you enjoyed learning something from someone, let
your excitement show.
Be excited about what interests you, and be willing to share what you know
to all who care to learn it.
(Don't be a boor about it and cram your knowledge down unwilling throats.)

Travel to events and make a point of meeting those who share your interests.
Do your homework before you do.   Show that you took the time to learn what
you could before you took up someone else's time.
(Don't be like someone who sat next to my wife and asked her to teach "all
about the Arts and Sciences" in the fifteen minutes before dinner was
served.)

Offer to teach classes in your local group, then at Kingdom events after you
get a bit of practice at it.

In short, do what you would do to find new friends anywhere.

> I for one would NEVER ask anyone to "lower the bar" for any award,
> order or position. I stand by any group setting their standards as high
> as they like and moving them higher with time. I have seen this happen
> with time in the SCA, sports, education and technology. Anyone who puts
> in the time and training to achieve any level has the right to make of
> it what they please. If a person does the work and is lucky enough to
> win crown, they have the right to make whatever demands they deem
> appropriate. If the King says you must wear purple and stand on your
> head to attend court then that is their right. If the order of the Pearl
> were to require that member's have a pinkie finger at least 3 inches
> long, so be it! BUT if court purports to be public and the pearl
> purports to be open to the members at large. Then all of the rules
> regulations and criteria should be commonly known.

No comment, as the awards and their relative *clearness* are unknown to me,
a newcomer to this land.

> This would go a long
> way to relieving some frustrations and banishing the idea that you
> "gotta suck up to the right people". I am NOT saying that this is the
> admitted or actual criteria or that all orders or its members practice
> this. I am saying that a significant portion of the populace has
> expressed this opinion and believe it and have seen intermittent
> reinforcement of the idea.

Modern marketing research has shown that for every customer who complains,
far more just silently walk away.

Perhaps folks just need to be reminded on occasion that "nurturing the
Dream" we all have is part of a Peer's responsibilities, perhaps even more
important than fighting prowess, scholarly knowledge or artistic ability.

> Given this; Maybe there should be new orders? Maybe the current orders
> could make a better attempt at educating people as to their criteria?
> Neither of these is my duty or decision to make, I wield only
> information gleaned from conversation, experience, education and
> observation. I have only opinion to offer. I am not crusading to change
> anything. There does appear to be some strong negative issues on either
> side and about the awards old and new. Negative energy is bad.

No comment.

> I also
> often hear conversations that those less bold than myself would never
> say out loud in the presence of power or the members of a particular
> order. Peer-Fear is real, the opinions you receive may be edited or
> modified to fit perceptions of the audience.

An interesting term, "Peer-Fear", and a very strong choice of words.

What is meant by it?

It could mean nothing more than diplomatically choosing not to discuss the
nuances of one's pornography collection with one's preacher father-in-law.

Excuse the humorous example above, but I suspect you mean something far more
pernicious or you would not have used the word "fear".

What is there to fear about the Peerages?

They have one and only one "power".  It is to recommend to the Crown that
someone join their group.
In simple fact, they have less power than anyone who decides to set up their
own Household, because that person needs no permission from anyone to ask
someone to join their House.  The Peers must have the assent of the Crown.

So, the only "power" they have is one based upon the respect of others.  If
there is no respect for them and their Order, there is no power.

There is nothing to fear at all.

> I never mean to offend unintentionally. I am very good at giving
> offense and when I mean to it is obvious.

Field Marshal Montgomery was once asked by one of his junior officers to
define "a gentleman."
He pondered for a bit, musing out loud that "he knew one when he saw one."
He then offered this definition, "A gentleman never offends anyone *by
accident*."

I would amend that definition by adding "without just cause and at last
resort."

Since I did not read your prior missive, nothing I just wrote should be
taken as a comment upon it.
I just think it's a funny story.

> My previous missive was
> intended to offer more opinion and observation to the discussion. I do
> stand by my comments as to the personality and flavor of Atlantia and
> her award orders. Like family, while I do not like everything about
> everyone they are indeed dear to me, and I do indeed care about the
> health and vitality of our Society. Again they are ONLY my opinion seen
> from MY point of view. My opinions hold no weight over anyone or any
> order.

You claim earlier in this missive to be relating the opinions of
others as well as yourself, others who are not so bold.

I'll take you at your word either way, but your writing on the subject is
not clear as to when you relate your own opinion and when you relate that of
others.

Having just annoyed some friends of mine with a poorly worded email remark,
I can sympathize with how hard it is to clearly and accurately state an
opinion strongly without causing offense unintentionally.

> They are also unlikely to be modified by 1-2 people in each group
> getting upset and saying "Well I don't do that" or "its not meant to be
> that way". I agree that many order members act differently than other
> order members, and many Atlantians act differently than other kingdom
> members. But if they would change the appearance of the body at large
> they must do enough to change the appearance of the whole. Sadly this is
> beyond the capability of all but a few exceptional leaders.

Is it?  I believe that the populace can set its own standard for granting
respect to others.

Those who have earned that respect, and continue to earn it, will know it by
the deference others grant to their given word and thoughtful opinions.
Those who have not, and do not, should also come to know the respect in
which they are held.

> I expect or request no specific changes. The Kingdom and it's orders
> are as they want to be at present. If They desire to change, consciously
> or otherwise, it will happen.

They are as they have chosen to be by their actions.

Whether that is what they want to be is another issue.

Again, being new to this kingdom, I have too little experience to venture an
opinion one way or another.
I just thought it wise to make the distinction.

> But do not get offended at people that
> point out that your basset hound aint a cat no matter what you call it.
> Don't get angry, just assume that I don't recognize cats very well.

That is the most picturesque way of expressing that concept I have ever
heard!

My compliments to you, and I hope you will not mind if I use it from now on.

> I have no agenda or hidden goals. Comment was requested and I made such.
> More information will modify my opinions but the real test is in what is
> done not in what is said. Show me the reality of the orders as open,
> definable, criteria based, non-political groups and I will believe it.
> But do not tell me this is the reality when so many observations by so
> many people would differ greatly. Maybe a lot of people just need to be
> better informed about the nature of the orders and/or their
> implementations. On the other hand, ALL social, political, governmental
> and religious groups suffer through these issues all the time. It well
> could be that it is human nature. Realizing that there may be problems
> and working toward stated ideals can make a difference but it takes more
> than angry retorts and rhetoric.
>
> AshaHito
>

I hope my comments have been useful to you and any others who share your
opinions.

> --__--__--
>

> Reply-To: <mbrunzie at Radix.Net>
> From: "TJ Brunzie" <mbrunzie at Radix.Net>
> To: <atlantia at atlantia.sca.org>
> Subject: RE: [MR] Coronation Curia - New Orders?
> Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2001 17:30:42 -0400
>
> > Nowadays, people are translating and redacting obscure Spanish
> > cookbooks, rediscovering and relearning long-forgotten textile
> > crafts such as
> > nalbinding ... and publishing and teaching these techniques them to many
> > others.
>
> But it sounds like one either needs a history degree or a lot of
> free time and/or money to reach the level where they could be
> considered for a Laurel.  The average SCAdian couldn't even begin
> to think about translating a medieval Spanish cookbook, even if
> they could help redact it once it was translated.  If I wanted to
> truly recreate the garb for my persona, I would have to
> shell out a lot of money on brocaded silks - the ubiquitous cotton
> broadcloth, or even a plain linen or wool would be substandard for
> doing my A&S display "right".  And completely handstitch it, too??
> Even if I know what the right patterns and accessories are for my
> garb, it takes more time and money than I have to do everything
> "right"; so how much effort is enough, or should I just save myself
> the trouble?
>
> (I realize that sounds quite bitter; the truth of the matter is,
> I love the research I do, and I would keep studying Moorish
> costume even if I weren't in the SCA.  Whether what I learn
> from my research gets made into garb...well, that's a different
> question!  ;)
>
> Cheers,
> Doña Violante
>
>

I would advise that you do what you love and do it with those you love.
Let your love for what you do and who you are with shine forth for all to
see.
That, along with courtesy, honour, teaching and continual learning, will
serve you well in life.
All else pales in comparison, does it not?

Yours in delighted (and hopeful) service,

Andras Salamandra