[MR] Another Master Daniel tale, anyone?

[Rutlands at aol.com]

Unto the Kingdom's populace does James of Rutland send greetings.  

     As some of you know, Daniel and I have bought the ramshackle little 
cottage at the foot of our driveway, and are in the midst of renovating it 
for a rental property.  The New House is not coming as fast as it was 
supposed to, and Dan is not feeling well-- and therein lies a tale.  

     Master Darwin-In-Action Daniel and the Flapping Floorboards of Fate,  
or,  Gravity Works Whether You're Paying Attention Or Not.  

    Seems Dan & I met with the contractor Thanksgiving AM at the new house.  
Under half of the main room of said house is crawl space: a five foot tall 
basement under the rest, dug to put the furnace in when they got rid of the 
wood stoves.  The floor on the N half of the room was termite-damaged, and I 
was supposed to take it out.  So with Dan standing right beside me, I asked 
the contractor to take his Sawsaw (sp?) and cut between & parallel to the 
joists.  This would allow me to take the boards out in little pieces, as 
opposed to the whole boards-- much less hassle.  Dan was right there & 
agreed.  He then watched the cuts being made.  Then he went down to the 
cellar to disconnect the furnace pipe (we trashed it & are putting in gas)  
and I stepped along a joist over to the part over above the crawl space & 
started taking out floorboards.  From the cellar I hear, do you MIND?  That's 
two feet from me....
     So Dan comes back up, and nothing will do but he has to look at the hole 
I started.  He walks out over the "cellar" section, not on a joist but on the 
sawed place between two of them.  The whole section of floor flips up and Dan 
goes down between the joists to about halfway between waist and armpit.  
Screeching like a banshee-- if you can imagine a five-year-old banshee.  I go 
over and try to haul him out- "Give me your hand."  NoOoOoOoOo.....
I'm having trouble lifting him- and then I realize-- "LET GO OF THE JOISTS 
ALREADY!!! "   ...... NoOoOoOoooooo.....   He got out of it remarkably 
lightly, all things considered.  Lovely goose egg on L leg, and as of today, 
more bruising was still showing up on the legs, but nothing pulled, torn, or 
broken, so saith the Dr.-- 
     Will end with the old proverb about "we grow too soon oldt und too late 
schmart"...James of Rutland.