[MR] Re: Duke Andrew's Passing

[Rupert Gaddy]

Regretfully it seems that Duke Andrew did not wait until help could reach
him before he took action to end his own life, after posting his goodbye on
several egroups.

 I hope that the following post is in error, but pass it along to the rest
of the list for information and ask if anyone has confirmation or better
news, that you post it.


>>>>>>News of the passing of 

Duke Andrew of Seldom Rest, KSCA, Pel. Etc.
Or a dragonfly displayed gules.
Middle Kingdom
Barony of Red Spears
Shire of Hróðgeirsfjörðr
Toledo, Ohio

Came this day Saturday May 12 2001.

There are many folks who this man has touched.  Remember him
in your own way.  When the memorial table is next setup I will
light a candle for the Duke I never meet except on an SCA email
list.

Ld. Kestrel of Wales
Kingdom of Meridies
Baron of Bryn Madoc
bardd<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


I do know that several people contacted folks in his area to try and
help/stop him. But too late.  I sent a very long email to this gentle that
he probably never received, and how I wish I could have been faster to
respond!  It is sad that he did not send a plea for help earlier so that he
could have gotten it and found out that there are a number of folks who
have been where he was in life and yet gotten through it.

That makes me post a personal note of thanks for the help that my SCA
friends have been to me, else I may have taken the route that Duke Andrew
felt forced to take.

I assume from the reference he made in his goodbye to us that he was also
experiencing some kind of lasting physical pain from which he felt driven
to escape. As a chronic pain sufferer myself I know how crazy the day to
day pain makes one, and how emotionally and physically exhausting it can
be.  I also know the limits that such pain can place on a person and how
"empty" life can feel when one is deprived of the physical things one used
to be able to do easily, and now are so very difficult or impossible.  I
know the bitterness it creates inside one towards the entire world.  But I
also know that one can continue to survive and even be happy if one has the
support of friends and faith, and friends with faith. Thank you my friends.

Having been though two divorces I also understand the pain and confussion
and bitterness which that brings into one's very core. And sometimes we are
not very nice people while we are in the depths, and it takes a lot of
effort for our friends to even be around us, much less try to help us.  I
am still suffering for some of the things I did in bitterness at life years
ago with some folks still holding a grudge to this day, but most of all I
am thankful for the people who stood by me and tried to help even when I
was really hard to get along with.....I would thank them all here, but I
would certainly leave someone out, so I won't. You each know who you are
and that you have my eternal thanks for your help and support in some
difficult times.

I am so sorry that we never had that chance with this gentle, but it should
serve as a reminder to us that we should be aware of the problems our
friends may be going through and how we can help them.  

It also serves as a reminder to all of us to ask for help before things
become so tragicly desperate that we seem to have only one choice left to
us...this asking often takes more strength and courage than anyone who has
not been there can possibly understand.  But it is worth it....


I don't know all this man, Duke Andrew, accomplished in life since I only
knew him by his posts on various egroups, but maybe in his death there will
be found one more accomplishment, that someone else can be helped and saved
because he has reminded us, so painfully, that indeed "we are our brother's
keeper".


Ld Rupert the Persistent
Atlantia