[MR] TV Coverage

[Towey, Brian]

Friends and neighbors-

Well, I've already stuck my foot in my mouth once today by repeating an
Heraldic Myth (tm).

Maybe I can change the subject to something a little more fun.

As photogenic as we all are, how come there isn't more TV coverage of the
SCA?

Where's the million dollar contract for ESPN coverage of Pennsic?  Why isn't
the crown tournament even on the local TV sports segment?  

Some of the sports that do get coverage are pretty marginal.  Tractor pulls.
Curling.  Surely we can pull as big an audience as that!

And, wouldn't we make a cool 30-second cable TV ad?

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Establishing shot: Interior of living room.  Joe sixpack is sitting on a
recliner watching TV.

Close up of Joe.

ANNOUNCER (Male): Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day?  A new tie?

Joe looks glum.

ANNOUNCER: A lawn mower?

Joe looks resigned.

ANNOUNCER: How about an armored fist?

Magic white flash.  Joe holds up his hand, wearing a steel clamshell
gauntlet.  He flexes it.

JOE: (Delighted) Oooooh!

Audio of pounding war drums.  Jump cut to montage:
Slam-bam heavy single combat.
Line of elegant dancers doing a kick and turn
Crash of shield walls.
Steaming roast being set onto the high table
Extreme close up of pewter tankards clanking in a toast, banners in
background, to audio of a crowd shouting "Vivat!"

Dissolve to SCA logo and URL.

ANNOUNCER: Society for Creative Anachronism.  Visit our booth at the
Renaissance Festival this weekend.

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Establishing shot: Interior of restaurant.  Jane and Betty, business women,
are having lunch.

JANE: My husband was in a tournament last weekend.

BETTY: Mine, too.

JANE: He did pretty well.

BETTY: Mine, too.

JANE: I don't know *where* I can put the trophy.  What did yours win?

BETTY: Well, that's a little hard to explain...

Magic white flash.  Inside at coronation. Betty is dressed royally.

Close-up: A crown is set on Betty's brow.

Outside.  Concentric circles of swashbucklers kneel around Betty.

Audio of basse danse, with sackbuts and drums.  Jump cut to montage:
A big mangonel fires.
Candlelight.  Extreme close up of a hand being kissed
Pastoral.  A lady draws a longbow aimed into the camera.
Steadicam shot circling a very well-dressed table, laden with goodies
Extreme close up of wine goblets clinking in a toast, banners in background,
to audio of a crowd shouting "Vivat!"

Dissolve to SCA logo and URL.

ANNOUNCER (Female): Society for Creative Anachronism.  Visit our booth at
the Renaissance Festival this weekend.

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Can't you just see it?

-Charles Fleming
mka Brian Towey
"Miror Otium Negotium Multum Requirare"