[MR] A fine set of definitions

[Rowanwald Central]

> the truth, albeit not always sugar coated and propped up to be anything
but,
> is nothing more than the truth.  definitions that are truthful are
positive
> in the fact that they are reality.  by knowing reality we can work on what
> is good and not what is sugar coated.  to believe that the sca is not
> plagued with politics and stupid gossip is asinine.  to confront it is
> positive.  to change it is better.  i think it has done a world of good in
> bringing to light how many people are disgusted by the politics of the sca
> (and any other groups its size).

   I know there's politics in the SCA, as there is in *any* group of people,
especially people who care passionately about what they are doing and how it
will be done. The quote that I posted was originally from a discussion about
enhancing the participation in a group - and I was given permission to use
it in the Kingdom Chatelaine's handbook (so long ago) to that end. Creating
more categories in order to accentuate the negative does not aid in anything
that I can see as "positive", since any of those negative "categories" could
be included in the original three. Those focused on the level of play - the
ones posted as additions focused on emotional issues that affected level of
play.

   What if I took exception to your style? What if I didn't want to play
your way? How would we, you and I, as members of this group, reach accord if
not through "politics"?
    If I warn someone that a fighter is not at his/her best because they've
been undergoing medical treatment, am I helping prevent pain, or indulging
in stupid gossip?
   It is ALL a judgement call, and all we can do is be as honest AND AS KIND
as we can. Honesty without kindness can be the gravest of cruelty and is no
part of what I call honour or chivalry.  You may call not focussing on the
ugliness of Society life sugar coating. I call it edification. To bully
others in the name of "honesty" while brushing aside their feelings and
views as trivial is moral laziness.

   We all play the way that seems best to us. We all make mistakes.
Hopefully, the ratio between those making mistakes and those willing to
point fingers and blame without doing something to fix it will stay small.
In this Society, in comparison with other social groups that I have been a
member of, courtesy and compassion are far more apparent than anywhere else
and the expectation of honesty and courtesy on the part of any one member is
so much a given that we're shocked when we don't see it. Well... in the
world outside of the SCA, I'm shocked when I do see it*. If you think
politics and gossip is bad here, it's only because our scale has thinner
calibration levels than elsewhere - much like the scale of difference
between (to use a religious simile) the sins confessed by a single person
living in the regular world and those confessed by a dedicated monk or nun -
we have higher standards of expectation, thus we have a greater possibility
of disappointment. Forgiveness, and the standards of honour that enable
someone to ask it, are traits that I hold in high esteem and ones that I see
frequently and easily practised in this Society.

   (Note - my views are only my own and I am quite aware that others
may/will disagree - that's one of the great strengths of our Society.  I'm
ok with that. I wish others could be too. And lest someone ask - I was for
years involved in various branches of the Navy Wife's Club, Ombudsman for
two of my husband's ships, and a leader, and then trainer of leaders, in the
Boy Scouts, as well as being a volunteer with my church and my children's
schools and PTA. The ugly side of politics is something I hope to never
become accustomed to, but I can surely tell that the SCA is a much gentler
environment than any of those I've dealt with before.)

Rosine
*Actually, on re-reading this, I realised that most people I meet, even
driving, are pretty darn courteous and nice. I'm aware I'm lucky in that -
I've heard the horror stories of others. Or maybe, to be honest, it's
because I have trained myself to look for the good in what I see and
appreciate it even while trying to address the bad. Yes, that takes
discipline. So what? It's worth it.