[MR] heraldry

[Robert J Welenc]

>I meant that I will never get my arms past again BECAUSE I'm
>sarcastic and challenging the heraldic dogma surrounding the (hand
>over heart) submission guidelines. 
> 
> Confessing murder to my priest would be easier than ensuring that:

Quite possibly.  Your priest would not likely feel like murdering you
in turn.

But to take your points one by one, just in case there are some folks
out there who might believe your notions:

> the form is not reduced by one percentage point when making copies;


The facts:  the requested size for the shield on the submission forms
is 5 inches  by 6 inches, plus or minus no more than 1/2 inch.
That's 10 %, not 1 % -- a BIG margin of error.

> all lines in the rendering are at least 4 pixels wide (or the width
>of a #2 pencil when laid on its side and viewed from above); 

What is the width of a pixel, my lord?  The facts:  for years, both I
and my predecessors asked politely for lines to be drawn heavily
enough to photo-reduce properly. When they continued to be done
almost invisibly, we shrugged and redrew them.   It was not until my
arthritic hands gave out on me that I snarled on this list and other
places that this state of affairs was to come to an end.  And,
miraculously, the submitters of Atlantia discovered that they *could*
take 5 minutes to produce an acceptable drawing!

> the design can be grokked by a nearsighted lawyer when the 8.5 by
11
>piece of paper is reproduced and shrunk to the size of postage stamp
>(never mind that we are forbidden to take such steps on our
own...see
>point #1);

You are comparing apples and frogs, my lord.  **Laurel** insists on
the 5 by 6 inch shields  -- and gets them.  Two of the three colored
copies of your submission go to her.  That same 5x6 shield, not the
full size sheet of paper, is what is reduced to go on the Letter of
Intent.  The percentage of photoreduction is the preparer's choice.
Would you like me to keep them full sized?  I can do so, but the
price of a submission would have to go up to $20 per element to cover
the cost of mailing a 30 to 40 page letter to 50 or 60 members of the
College of Arms.  I believe that you and the other good gentles of
this kingdom would prefer to see them kept the same price that they
have been for the last 5 years.

> if someone who hasn't been a paid member since dirt was young
>registered a device that when set side by side and looked at under a
>black light seems to have only one point of difference;

Now you are railing at a system that has not been in effect for 12
years!  We no longer use the term "point of difference".
Hair-splitting, you say?  Perhaps -- but consider this, my lord:
Atlantia's acceptance rate at the Laurel level is *89%*, the highest
in the Known World, one of the most active heraldic establishments in
that same Known World.  

> I must use the dirty, chewed on Crayola my 18 month son just

You're too cheap to buy a big new box with 8 colors (yes, count 'em,
*8* good heraldic colors!) for 50 cents?

>have the whole thing rejected for style because I don't draw well.

There are scribes and heraldic artists in all parts of the kingdom;
if your corner is so benighted that there is none, clipart is widely
available on the web and elsewhere.

> All I'm saying is this: Please find ways to make it easier for
>people to have fun, get what they want and find satisfaction from
the
>working with the Heralds. It's all about customer service. 

Thank you sooo much, my lord, for making me,  my office, and my
collleagues feel like pieces of shit.  We really appreciate the
feedback.

Triton, when nobody else volunteers to do this job at the end of my
tenure, please turn it over to m'lord Colin -- becasue ***I*** sure
as hell won't re-up!!

Alanna
***********
Saying of the day: You cannot unscramble eggs.