[MR] Joy filled tidings

[Nick Malone]

Unto One and All; does the Humble AshaHito send warmest greetings;
    My heart is filled with joy and wonder. The Heralds have not stopped arriving in steams as thick as the flowers upon the steepes. All bring offers of aid and assistence to rid Caer Mear of the double tongued gnome who calls himself baron. I must pass on one of the hundreds of missives I have recieved so that more noble and civilized gentles from the realms that birth the dawn can hear and know they stand not alone in these wasted and barbaric lands.

Excerpt:

Greetings to AshaHito from the House of the Desert Eagle, Scorges of the Infidels that wear the Black Cross, Riders of the Deep Desert Wyrm, and Keepers of the Great Seal of Soloman,

Woe and dismay came onto me when I heard of the Great Insult made upon thee. As I wright this within my harem in Adalia, I weep tears thinking of the depravation that has been heaped on thy gentle soul. Mongols, the keepers of light and good will, have administered their province of Persia with a kind and gentle hand. Khan Hulagu is a scholar and gentleman that has been a bounty onto my house.

I have read of Norsemen from the writings of my esteemed ancestor Ibn Fahdlan, also know as the Banderas. They are a cruel, vulgar, short race that seems more acustomed to the exchange of body fluids with the hooved animals then acts of Warriors. If not for the assistance of my gracious ancestor, they would have been eaten by the beasts they called Grendals. They would not be worth the effort of bringing my sword out of it's sheath. However, I have read of their allies, and they are worth any price to render to Allah.

Templers, ah, these I would take joy in the killing, Allah forgive me. They are the piles that are placed onto those that can never find paradise. My Mamluks and I would travel hundreds of mile on the most deseased and evil camiles in order to find and sent to their roman heaven. Hypocrites they are that hide behind holy vows to engage depravities, perversion, and elevator music. I would make Jihad upon these dogs, and place my boot upon their necks. We will make Wyrm sighn upon their pale northern bellies.

It saddens me to no end that the Barony of Caer Mare has chosen one so vertically challenged to lead them. It will distress me to no end to have to sack it. My heart bleeds, I gnash my teeth in sorrow. There will be many flaxen haired widows that shall need the protection of the House of the Desert Eagles.

Be it known that a gift has been sent to the Great Hulagu Khan (May his harem be fertile and discrete), the Magical Grinding Stone of Bandaras. It can take any Danish blade and grind it into a scinitar of beauty in one take. This has been in our House since the time of Ibn Fahdlan, used as a short table for the setting of Kalph. This we send as gift to the Great Khan.

Please forward this to the so called defender of the James, and any who would join us on Jihad against the Templars.

Allah is great, Allah is Good, Let us kill Templars as good Muslims should.

Bahri Alli Mun Go

House of the Desert Eagle.


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