[MR] I Taunt You a second time; Balynar

[Nick Malone]

In Great Grief does AshaHito send best wishes unto the keepers of poor beset Balynar;

   I make this missive as private as possible but this herald is the only means I know of contacting you. I must ask; Have you lost all of your faculties? Does some life stealing, flesh eating disease beset you? Are you possessed of demons to force you to fevered rantings? Your last message makes me worry of my honor that good men have seen me converse with you in public and yet you live. I can not conceive of the dire circumstances that would make one suggest that a woman stand as your proxy in a personal challenge, lest of all one involving your very honor. I would sooner send a carpenter to tend to a sick horse.

   I mean no demeaning manner towards fair women of the world for they are truly noble and proper in their own fields, as well as valuable commodities to those men who have none. I know first hand their fierceness, and would never offend any woman in her ger or attempt to foster her children without also providing for her keeping. But, from my travels in the Rus lands, I believed Vikings to be noble, almost honorable, and semi-civilized. You have certainly put shame to my thoughts on the soul of a Viking.

   All else aside, Since you have accepted my challenges, I will allow you your peculiar choice of champions. With the following stipulations: She must be of the lands of Caer Mear. I seek no feud with Valkyries or Amazons. She must aver freely and publicly that she chooses to do this and has not been ordered to by her father, husband, or owner. To force a woman into these straits would be beyond all mannered behaviors. And lastly, since you insist there is such a clamor, she must volunteer unto you, I hold you to some semblance of dignity not to go abeggin for aid from your distaff aides.

   All Said, I will meet you or your female champion to a combat with no weapons other than what your were borne into the world with. (10 points or 3 kills whichever shall be demonstrated on the opponent first) No daggers, you need lessoning and healing not murdering. I had no idea your earlier words and deeds were guided by mental and moral defect. I shall of course kick you repeatedly into your foul mouth. I shall also endeavor to tear your right arm from your body and beat you about the head and shoulders with the wet end. And of final action, to demonstrate my righteousness on the trail by combat; I shall bodily hurl you about the field and squeeze you until you submit.

   I will meet you or your female champion upon the archery field to fair 24 shafts at like targets and distances of your choice.

    I will indeed meet you or your female champion (as if such a thing were even possible) over a game of chess, you may have white.

   In order to interject the depth of the personal conflict I feel in this matter of honor, I propose the following wager. Besides the outcome of the dreaded war that will inevitably ensue; in the matter of our personal challenge: When you lose I require you to dance for my guests at my table at the nights feast celebrating the great victory of the civilized eastern nations of the world. The fates have ordained your loss. This is beyond your reckoning, but is obvious to the more learned peoples of the world. Am I not taller than you, and thus more favored by nature? Am I not stouter and heavier than you, and thus proven more prosperous? Am I not older than you are, and thus shown to be wiser and craftier than you. It seems likely that some HONORABLE Viking will knife your spleen in the dark whilst in your cups to save the humiliation of all Northmen.



My deepest regrets for your health and condition.

AshaHito

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